Return

Автор: Anastasia

My first thought as I woke up was that it was already day. The cabin where I lay was brightly illuminated. But it wasn’t broad daylight; it was another sort of light, somehow artificial, bereft of life. Then I saw a shadow on the deck and understood it was Connor. My first impulse was rush out and so I put on my sneakers and followed the light. Connor was standing on the deck. Hearing me, he turned around and I saw his face, surreal in the blinding light. I didn’t know where we were; the light seemed to fill every single cell, the whole universe. I made my way to Connor and he reached out a hand to help me.

"We finally found it, Lindsay," he whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"The end of the world. This light carries all the answers we ever wanted to get," he smiled sadly.

"But I don’t want to stay here, I want to go back home, to AJ," I hoped he didn’t hear fear in my voice. I wasn’t easily scared but this strange light was something different.

"I’m afraid we have no choice, darling," I heard Connor talking, "I don’t think there’s a way back and we ever had another choice as to come here."

The light became brighter and Connor was dissolving in it. Pictures from past were quickly changing each other in front of my eyes. My first day at O.S.I.R., the first time I saw Connor, the exploding plant and our meeting. Then I saw AJ, gray eyes laughing, smile on her lips. My dear little daughter! I was going to miss her so much!

The last thing I saw were Connor’s lips forming "I love you."

IV. Peter.

I looked down at the letter in my hand. There was no hope any more, not after the four years, neither for him, nor for Sunray. All of a sudden I felt lost, now that I knew I’d never see them again.

He’s been my friend for such a long time, my comrade – in – arms, the man I admired and respected. And he was the most honest and forthright man I ever knew.

Sunray. A smile sprang to my lips as I thought how she’d react if she knew I called her this way. I never dared to do it though I wanted it so much. But then she was a sunray, lighting up everyone’s life, making things easier. This is what she was to me: a younger sister, a sunray, a pretty girl always full of fire and life. She was like this: my Lindsay. She came into my life some years ago: smile playing on her lips, eyes sparkling with hidden laughter. Friendly, outgoing, always ready to help. I knew we’d be friends and we really became thick through the years of our work together. She was always flirty, joking, playing with me but I found out rather soon she didn’t really love me, it was just her way to be nice to people and she always achieved what she wanted. Only when I saw Lindsay’s face after the explosion in Russia I understood she loved Connor, she’d never be able to love someone else. I would have never guessed it; she was as frisky and smiling to him as she was to everyone in O.S.I.R and during our investigations. But on the other side how could I be sure of anyone if I never was sure even of myself? To lose Sunray. It was impossible! She was always there, a safe haven I could turn to when I was troubled. Even during her absence I was sure Lin would come back. And she did, bringing Connor and AJ.

"Peter," she burst into the room, full of life and sunshine and her likeliness to Lindsay was so striking I turned away for a second, not able to hide the tears. The same sweet face only a bit different coloring: bright gray eyes, surrounded by long black lashes, exactly like Lindsay’s but Connor’s dark curly hair.

"Peter," she looked at me with her serious eyes, suddenly very still. "It’s a bad letter, isn’t it?" AJ asked. For her eight years she was an exceptionally bright child and there was no use to hide the truth from her. "Yes," I admitted. "The Bermuda officials found the boat of Connor and Lindsay. There is no trace of them, every attempt to find is useless now." "They will never come back, will they?" AJ looked directly into my eyes. I slowly shook my head.

"I knew it, I knew the day they went away that they will never return again. And they knew it as well, otherwise they wouldn’t let me stay here," she didn’t cry though I would have liked her to do it, it was unusual for a child of her age to stay calm in such a situation. "I only wish I went with them," it was a barely audible whisper but I heard it and my heart sank.

"AJ, please, you must be brave, life still goes on. I also loved them both and I can understand your sorrow but you have to live, it’s exactly what they wanted and that is why they left you here, they wanted that you grow up and continue what they did," I talked on but wasn’t sure whether AJ really listened.

"Looking for truth?" she suddenly asked, throwing me another glance I couldn’t fully understand.

My heart skipped a beat: it was just the way Lindsay used to look. I couldn’t understand it: of course Lindsay and Connor spent a lot of time with the child for they both doted on AJ but she was hardly four years old when they went to the Bermudas and therefore she couldn’t remember them that well. Still I had a feeling she knew very much about them, more than I. And again I was at a loss for words. As Connor and Lindsay left the child in my custody, I was sure I’d cope for AJ was the sweetest and the most outgoing child I knew. But she started to change the day Rachel told her Connor and Lindsay were lost. AJ seemed to have lost interest in everything. She stopped playing dolls, stopped riding her bicycle to visit her friends. She rarely talked. There was no trace of a cheerful child her parents left me and I was deeply troubled by the change. Both Rachel and me tried our best to take care of Anne Julia. Our little daughter Linnet, who was now two years old, seemed to interest AJ but that was only for a short time. She still played with little one, teaching her to draw but I often saw her sitting with this strange expression while Linnet happily chatted. I also couldn’t understand why she spent every evening in the garden, going through maps of Bermuda Triangle. AJ was living in our house, Rachel was quite sure that AJ would feel better in new surroundings and she indeed looked more cheerful for a while but then the apathy returned. AJ went to school and was the best in her class but had no interest in studies. Now as I looked into her face, I couldn’t help comparing her eyes with ice chops, showing no emotion at all. Except for pain.

"AJ, Cooper called. Do you want to go over to him?" I asked.

She nodded and there was some kind of joy on her face. I don’t know why but AJ’s best friend seemed to be Cooper, zoologist from O.S.I.R who walked rather often with Doyle’s former team. Anne Julia could spend hours listening to his stories and talking to him about Bermuda Triangle. Neither of them seemed to bother they were usually talking about the same. Rachel also didn’t understand but she was glad that the child liked someone. I knew she liked AJ, it was simply impossible not to be drawn to this little girl in spite of the fact AJ changed a lot and she suffered that Anne Julia was as remote from her as from any other person who tried to approach her. But she was as grateful to Cooper as I was, understanding AJ needed someone to talk to. So I brought AJ to LQ’s house and watched her running up the stairs and smiling at Cooper who was obviously very glad to see the girl. AJ, I thought silently, can’t you see what you’re doing to me being as reserved as Connor was?

The summer holidays were approaching and Rachel like always talked about the place to go.

"We could go to Hawaii," she proposed, shining," the weather is fine there, we could go for a swim or even dive! Wouldn’t that be great?"

She looked expectantly at AJ and I felt anger because the girl didn’t even move. She was eating her breakfast, a physics book in front of her.

"AJ, Rachel is talking to you," I said sharply but forgot my annoyance the moment she looked at me with her deep gray eyes: "Sorry, I didn’t mean it. Rachel, did I do something wrong?"

My wife gathered our two – year – old daughter in her arms.

Возврат к списку