Return

Автор: Anastasia

"Thanks, I’ll be fine on my own."

"Then I’ll go, Beta team and I will wait till the plant blows up and then we’ll head Archangelsk and tell the government there about a horrible accident. Poor Ms. Donner, she couldn’t be saved! I guess Peter will be very sad, he always liked you."

I hated Elsinger. How I hated him! Then he was gone, I could hear the iron door closing. Now all I had to do was to pull the starting lever. Then I’ll be dead. I could feel parasites coming near and I preferred to die first than to be tortured by the parasites. I put my hand on the starting lever and in the same moment couldn’t help wondering whether Connor felt the same as he held the same lever. He was a hero, rescuing the lives of his team and I was a fool, allowing Elsinger trap me.

"Lindsay," there was someone speaking to me. I turned my head and suppressed a cry. There was a man, dressed in an anorak, a hood hiding his face. "I don’t believe in ghosts," I said firmly. "Who are you? Who sent you?"

"It doesn’t matter now, follow me, I’ll take out of here and then we’ll blow the plant," the man said. I could swear I recognized the voice but I wasn’t sure. I shrugged. There was no way out of this situation so why not take the chance? I followed him down the dark corridors, none of us speaking anything. Finally I could feel cold wind upon my face and then I saw the blinding whiteness of the snow desert in front of me. "I’m giving you an order, Lindsay, run! You haven’t got two chances," the man started running towards the dark spot, which seemed to be a forest. I was too stunned and so did as he ordered. It could be only one man. Connor Doyle. "Wait, what does this mean?" I ran after him as fast as I could, the snow under my feet making a fast progress impossible. "Damn, will you stop or not?" I cried out of my breath, reaching the forest. A mighty explosion shook the air; I was thrown back, hitting a tree. The plant stood for a moment just as it was and then collapsed into the roaring inferno of flames. "I hope you have a good explanation, Mr. Whatever – you – are," I said, standing up. "But thank you for saving my life."

"Lindsay, my dear little Lindsay, it’s so typical you," he took down the hood and I saw Connor’s face. The next moment I was holding him, not daring to believe he was real.

"I’m real, Lindsay, you don’t believe in ghosts, do you?" there was laughter in his eyes.

"I don’t," I answered, too moved to speak.

"Now do what you’re told, we have to move quickly otherwise Elsinger will find out you still live and then I won’t give a penny for our lives. We have to reach a little village not far from here where we can find a way to take you to an American embassy."

"I won’t go," I said.

Connor turned, looking surprised: "What? You don’t want to go with me?"

"I won’t go anywhere, even home without you, Connor," I held his gaze as firm as mine.

"We’ll see," he finally said and I knew I won.

It seemed to me we’ve been walking for ages, stuck in snow and I didn’t see any sign of civilization but I didn’t complain. Everything was going to be all right now that Connor was with me. As if reading my thoughts, Doyle turned to me: "Are you tired?"

"No, if you aren’t tired, I’m not tired as well," I answered. He smiled and we dragged on. It was already dark as I saw that the trees started to disappear and heard the noise of the playing children. They saw us and ran up to Connor. He told them something what I didn’t understand to what they burst into laughter and pulled both Connor and me into one of the houses. "I didn’t know you could speak Russian that well," that was all I managed, chilled to bone and wishing nothing but something hot to drink.

"Oh, God, you must be freezing!" he exclaimed. "I was too busy with our escape and didn’t mention you weren’t proper dressed for this kind of a Siberian winter."

"It’s all right, you don’t have to worry," I reassured but Connor didn’t listen to me, we already entered a wooden house and a welcomed wave of a warm air made my eyes water. Connor was already speaking to a beautiful woman who answered him, smiling. Then he turned to me: "Follow Anna, she’ll give you something different to put on and something hot to drink." I gladly did what he said.

"You’re Anna?" I asked, my usual curiosity considering new people I learnt often helped me over the language barriers.

"Anna," she showed at herself and asked something, pointing at me.

"I’m Lindsay, Lindsay Donner," I somehow understood she wondered about my name.

"Lindsay," she repeated and smiled. I already liked her and was sure we’ll get on well.

After I put on the woolen clothes Anna gave me, she exited the room. I guessed she went to look for Connor but I didn’t know it for sure. I stayed sitting on the bed, watching my surroundings. I didn’t even notice how my eyes closed and I was fast asleep, glad to be free from painful thoughts.

This time I didn’t have any nightmares, somehow Connor’s presence scared them away. I woke up, aware of someone looking at me. There was Connor sitting near the bed, his dear gray – blue eyes thoughtful. He didn’t seem to notice I was awake and I stayed lying still, afraid to disturb the magic of the moment. I wished it could go on like this forever: Connor sitting there, rays of sun playing upon his handsome face and me watching him. I loved him more with every minute spent in his presence, I loved everything in him: every feature, every gesture. Everything was so dear and familiar to me.

I unwillingly stirred and found myself looking directly into Connor’s eyes. He seemed rather confused: "You’ve been watching me?"

I nodded: "Sorry I couldn’t help."

He looked away and then again watched me: "You’ve been surely asking yourself how I managed to survive?"

I shook my head: "No, Connor."

"No?" he was genuinely surprised. "It’s enough for me to know you’re safe and sound here with me and I don’t want to torture you with bitter memories and stupid questions. Let the past burry its dead."

For a moment there was tenderness on his face and I saw he was about to say something but then it was over. "Thank you, Lindsay, I knew you’d understand. Now let’s speak about the future. Today Anna’s husband will drive us to Archangelsk, there’s an American embassy and you’ll be able to return to US. Just get ready, we’re breaking in fifteen minutes," he exited the room before I could rise any objections and I could see he did it cause he knew that would be exactly what I would do. I chuckled: he knew me as well as I knew him.

In fifteen minutes I stood in front of the house, saying my farewell to Anna. We understood each other without much talking, it was a perfect communication.

"She’s a very nice person," I told Connor as we were sitting in a little truck.

He nodded: "Just like Nicolai. They helped me a great deal, I owe much to them both, and I couldn’t survive without their help."

Nicolai seemed to understand what we were talking about because he broadly smiled. The rest of the way I spent silent, listening to Connor’s talk with Nicolai and trying to understand something. "Here we are," said Connor as the car stopped in front a big gray building.

"You should get out."

"Not without you," I stayed sitting until Connor also exited the truck. "Lindsay, now listen carefully: this is your way, your only way to go back to US, to the life you used to live. Go now."

"No, Connor, you’re wrong if you think I’ll leave you. No, not for the second time, I’m not going to lose you, is that clear to you?"

"Lindsay, don’t torture us both, go," there was pain in his eyes.

"Then tell me you hate me and I’ll leave. Say "I hate you", it’s so simple," tears already started to fill my eyes. I knew I wouldn’t stand it for the second time. Not losing him again.

"I love you, Connor, I’ve been loving you for ages but I’ll go if you wish. Just say the three words." I knew I was torturing him, making him suffer but I couldn’t let him make a mistake, couldn’t let me make a mistake, not to hate myself for the rest of my life for being too weak.

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