The Way to Go

Автор:  Anastasia

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"No, I’ll be better off in my room, licking the wounds. But thanks for asking anyway," she added, "and for coming here with me."

"No probs, hon, just ask."

In fifteen minutes Lindsay stopped her Ford in front of Dana’s house.

"Mom will be furious I got rid of the tooth," Dana grinned. "But Dad said it’s okay. And you said the same."

"I did. I think you’re old enough to decide for yourself what you want or not," Lindsay shrugged.

"Thanks," Dana was always grateful to Lindsay for this friendship. She felt she could talk to Lindsay about everything in the world, she didn’t trust that much neither her father nor her mother though it was may be wrong. But Lindsay didn’t sound as old as her parents, it was more like having an older sister who gave helpful advice and solved the problems.

"See you later then," Lindsay waved and accelerated. Colleen and Dana kept on waving each other till Colleen couldn’t make out the house.

"Mom, will I be as big as Dana?" Colleen asked suddenly.

"Of course you will, darling," Lindsay cast an amused glance into the rearview mirror. Colleen has freed herself from the baby seat and the seat belt: she loathed them both and no matter how often Lindsay talked to her about her safety, Colleen kept on unfastening the belt and creeping out of the seat.

"Know what, Colleen, you just make sure that for the rest of the way you spend belted."

"Mom!" there was an indignant wail.

"Now do as you’re told otherwise I won’t talk to you."

"Mom!" Colleen tried once more but resigned after seeing the expression on Lindsay’s face.

"You don’t like me," the girl said reproachful, fumbling with the belt.

"I do, sweetie, believe me, that’s exactly why I ask you to fasten the seat belt."

"You don’t. If you did, then you’d hug me."

Lindsay smiled and with a jerk pulled the car to the standstill to the roadside. Then she got out and swooped Colleen up from the seat. Colleen laughed.

"So, still thinking of your Mommy as a monster?" she smiled and kissed the girl.

"No," Colleen hugged her mother tightly. "I don’t."

But when Lindsay put her back to the car and belted, she added thoughtfully: "But I still hate the belt."

Lindsay hid her smile. The kid was a treasure!

"Now you’ve got this piece wrong therefore you can’t go on with the picture!" Lindsay explained, kneeling down her daughter and showing her the jigsaw on the floor.

"Yes, but it did look so right!" Colleen complained, her cheeks flushed with concentration.

"Things are not always what they seem to be," Lindsay said, at the same time trying to remember who told her these words. The bell rang.

"It’s Pete, I’ll let him in!" Colleen was out of the room before Lindsay could say anything else. Her small feet noisily tapped on the floor. Lindsay smiled: Colleen was a dear though sometimes Lindsay wondered whether it could be possible to manage this kid in five years.

"Mom," the girl was back, looking put out and worried.

"Yes, honey, what’s wrong?" Donner rushed to her daughter. "What’s happened?"

"It’s not Peter at the door, Mom. It’s a man who says he’s an old friend of yours," Colleen wasn’t shattered easily but now she looked as if she were to cry every minute.

"Well, let’s see who it is," Lindsay made a step towards the corridor, questioning herself whether the stranger could be Elsinger.

But as she reached the entrance door, she saw a tall dark haired man and in the same moment she stiffened a cry.

"I’m sorry I’ve frightened the kid," he smiled sadly. "And that I’ve scared you. But I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long!"

"Connor!"

Colleen watched with surprise how her mother let go of her hand and within a second was hugging the stranger. She was sobbing and Colleen could see that the stranger whom her mother called Connor also had tears in his eyes.

"God, I thought I’d never see you again!" finally Lindsay calmed down enough to talk.

"I’ve told you that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Lindsay. Have you got some time? I have to talk to you."

She stared into his blue gray eyes so dear and familiar she couldn’t help crying. Then she remembered Colleen.

"Connor, this is Colleen, my daughter," she met his gaze with the stare he has missed so much.

"She is exactly like you," he said and squatted in front of the girl: "Hi, Colleen, will you forgive me scaring you?"

"I’m not that easily scared, Mr. Connor," replied the girl indignantly. "But you gave me the creeps."

He smiled: "You don’t only look like your Mom, you sound the way she does!"

"Come in, Connor," free of the first shock Lindsay became her old busy self again.

"Of course."

He entered the room and saw that almost nothing has changed. The furniture was the same, only a few toys and the big jigsaw puzzle gave away Colleen’s presence. He wished that he and Lindsay stayed the same too. She didn’t change much: the same good looks, warm smile but there was sadness lurking in the corners of her usually smiling mouth, big gray eyes. He felt he had changed as well. Only usually so tactful, Lindsay wouldn’t comment on it.

"Lindsay, I’ve got to tell you something. To explain."

"No need, Connor. I’m glad just having you around. There’s no explanation needed. Not now."

"You don’t understand, Lindsay. I’m married."

"You’re what?" she span around, suddenly as pale as a sheet. "You don’t mean it, do you?"

"I’m sorry, Lin. Please, listen to me. Let me tell you about Rebecca. How it happened."

"No, Connor," her voice was flat, her eyes dead and empty. "I wish you all the best with Rebecca."

"Lindsay, it’s not what you think…" he started.

"No? but it’s a marriage, isn’t it? Is it why you were far away for so long? To marry? God, how could I have been that stupid?"

"Mommy, who’s that?" Colleen asked. She didn’t like the way her mother looked now. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

"A friend," Lindsay replied coldly. "An old friend of mine."

"Lindsay, I…" at this moment his mobile rang. Connor listened to the person for a while. "Of course I’ll be there. Till later."

"It was she, wasn’t it?" Lindsay sounded bitter. He looked at her, wishing things were different. Wishing he could hug her, tell her how much he loved her. But he couldn’t.

"What are you waiting for, Connor? She expects you to turn up. So hurry on."

"Lindsay, one more question. The last one. Are you married?"

She looked scornful: "What have you thought, Doyle? I’m not. I couldn’t marry because I’ve been waiting for a miracle to happen. How foolish I was!"

He turned around and headed for the door. He longed to turn back, say that all was a terrible mistake but it wasn’t a dream. There was Rebecca waiting for him. He couldn’t change the past.