The Way to Go

Автор:  Anastasia

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"Thanks," Lindsay smiled at her, "I’ll be grateful for that."

The younger nurse dashed away and the older returned to her desk, murmuring something under her breath. It sounded like "what are these useless scientists for if you have to do everything on your own."

Lindsay hid a smile and settled on a battered looking chair opposite the table. She had a feeling that she couldn’t trust the nurse with giving her the right samples. Of course it was quite rude of her, from her experience she knew that people – and especially older ones – didn’t like someone interfering and demanding something they couldn’t understand but it was an investigation and if she stopped each time someone became crabby…

"Oh, Lin, you’re already here?"

Lindsay looked up and saw Connor: "As you can see."

She was neither surprised nor annoyed. Somehow Doyle managed to kill every emotion in her. Except for nagging pain deep inside.

"Lindsay, are you again dropping hints?" he asked quietly.

"I’ve never dropped hints, why should I stop now? Things haven’t been as clear as they are for ages," her voice was heavy with sarcasm.

"I wish we would stop fighting," Doyle sighed.

"Really? Strange how we happen to have the same thoughts. It’s quite unusual, isn’t it?" she interrupted as he started speaking: "Anyway, there’s nothing we can speak about. Axon’s over there, talking to Mrs. Leons. Go and ask him whatever you want."

Connor turned around: "I’m sorry things are this way, Lindsay."

"Me too. But apologies sound quite tired now," her mobile rang. "Donner."

Doyle stood in some distance and watched her speaking. The same gray eyes dancing with amusement he missed so much, the same smile touching her lips, creating dimples on her cheeks, lighting up her face. But now she wouldn’t smile at him when he walked in or casually caught her glance, she wouldn’t make a face at Pete’s scientific explanation, making him laugh, she wouldn’t drop into the office saying "good morning" in a voice that made even Coop beam with pleasure at being addressed. Only now did he realize how empty his life was without her and the how the small things he considered unimportant actually made his life what it used to be.

Everyone else in the Office treated him as if nothing has happened. Anton was as friendly as always, Pete seemed a bit wary in Lindsay’s presence but otherwise quite easy going and other colleagues quite genuinely congratulated him on returning married. If only they knew…

"Connor, over here!" Peter shouted, thinking that Doyle hasn’t seen him.

"Hi, Pete, how’s it going?" Doyle asked, approaching.

"I have found no traces of sabotage, looks like all the machines function properly."

"What about doctors?"

"It’s Lindsay’s job to check them out. You know her, she doesn’t like anyone intruding in whatever she’s doing."

"She doesn’t like a lot of things," a voice behind them said. Connor and Peter turned around simultaneously and saw smiling Mia. "Have you thought you can let me out of a case?"

"Nope, but I couldn’t reach you," explained Peter.

"And I’ve still no number of that mobile of yours," apologized Connor.

"Okay, forgiven and forgotten. Is Linds nosing ‘round?"

"Yeah," replied Axon, "she’s in her element, I’ve just seen a nurse who acted as if she’s on a secret mission. I wonder how Lin gets everyone doing whatever she wants them to do."

"Oh, easily, Pete, believe me," Mia said, "she only has to make her "I’m so helpless" face at men and "you’re such a clever girl" at woman. The rest is quite simple."

"If it’s really as easy as it sounds, why are we so hopeless at charming people?" Peter asked.

Connor shrugged: "If you want to hear my opinion: Lin’s one in a million, there’s no one like her."

"An unofficial meeting?" Lindsay wondered, as she approached them. "Hi, Mia, howdy dowdy."

"Great as usual," Stone answered, "how’s Leeny?"

"As mad as a hatter," Donner smiled affectionately, "you know what she’s like with Christmas and her birthday within reach. Speaking of Christmas, have you considered going to Grand Canaria with Praeger?"

"Praeger?!" exclaimed Peter. "Are you kidding?"

"No everyone has your taste," Connor said and was rewarded by Lindsay’s grateful look. It was only short but made him feel better.

"As a matter of fact I have. But I don’t think that I fit there. We’re quite good friends with Mathew however I reckon he needs his time with Dana. Who knows, may be next year she’ll spend Christmas with someone else. Besides Praeger’s obviously delighted they’re on their own."

"Then come to us, everyone’s coming anyway," Lindsay invited.

"Me too?" Connor asked.

"Why not? Perhaps it’ll make things the way they used to be. Even if for a short while," Peter replied.

Lindsay nodded and grinned: "But I gather Becca’ll find her way of sabotaging it."

Everyone laughed. And Connor realized that there was no bitterness in Lindsay’s words. Has she given up?

"Oh well, enough fun," he said. "Have you got the samples, Lindsay?"

"Yes, I’ve sent them to HQ already, we’ll soon have the analysis."

"And you, Pete?"

"As I’ve told you, things look normal."

"I gather I’d go and question some people here," Donner proposed. "Mia, coming with me?"

"No, Lin, I want to have a look at the poor kid and her mother."

"Still searching vibes?" Peter teased.

"Will you stop that, Axon? One day I’m going to explode!"

"Not today though," interrupted Connor. "We all have a lot to do. See you later, guys, in the mobile lab."

"Bye, Connor," Mia headed the room where Angela sat at her daughter’s bed.

Lindsay also turned to go: "Cya guys."

As she was gone, Peter shrugged: "Try not to take it personally, Connor. Some day she’ll go over it."

"Sure, Pete," but deep inside Doyle doubted it.

"Connor, you mean you want to live in US from now on?" Rebecca asked, surprise in her voice.

"Yes, Rebecca, that’s exactly what I mean."

"All right, I’ll go packing then," she proposed and quietly left the room.

Connor sighed. Why did she make all the simple things quite complicated? Why wouldn’t she react Lindsay’s way? Shout, provoking a quarrel or laugh, ridiculing things? No, there was that stony silence and quiet obedience which started to get on his nerves. He has honestly tried to get to love the moors and the green fields of Lough Erin. But no matter where he went, he saw Lindsay. He saw her smiling face in the hills, her eyes in the deep lake not far from the farm. Sometimes he heard her voice and the sound of her laughter.

All the Irish relatives whispered behind his back that "’at ol’ chap took everyt’ing t’ hard" but Connor wouldn’t mind. They also wondered at the way he spoke. Only now Connor saw the difference between the quiet lilting Irish and his own so very American way of pronouncing the words. And of course they didn’t know what "sidewalk" was, or "subway" or "lift" for that matter.