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“I can’t let you take me, they tore me up inside.” Connor shied away from the steady gaze.
“And you can’t take me because of your knees, so? Ever heard of frottage Professor?”
Connor nodded slowly. “Means to rub.”
“And I can think,” Peter punctuated his words with kisses as he turned Connor onto his back and ran his fingers lightly down the furred chest, stopping at regular intervals to seek out tender spots as he pinched the dark brown nipples. Connor gasped as the hardened nubs were pulled gently between Peter’s lips and he felt a throb of another kind thrill him like sweet wine, “of nothing better I’d like to rub right now.” Peter’s hand dipped low across his abdomen and carded through the dark thatch of hair and down to the heavy cock.
Connor rolled his head back against the cushions as he parted his legs and let the gentle hand that knew him so well roll the heavy balls in their sac. Peter held his weight up on his arms, his biceps bulging with the effort as Connor traced the contours of the man above him, moving to dance in a rhythm as old as time.
Beyond speech Connor adjusted his position till their cocks slid against each other, the heat and touch of the other healing the open wounds of their souls as Peter began to rock slowly, his lips constantly moving against the smaller form. Finding every hurt, every ache and bringing joy with the completion of souls that were truly lost alone.
Tears streaked their faces and yet still the dance continued, moving in a luxurious tempo that had their eyes locked with love and desire. All the answers to the unknown and unasked questions were answered in the heartbeat and for a moment Connor saw the despair, the heartache and was humbled by the degree of love this mercurial man held for him. Proud to know that the heart in his hands beat solely for him and in that moment aware, not for the first time of the awesome burden that came with being so well loved. Wanted, he felt wanted and needed and whole as he screamed his climax into Peter’s shoulder, long fingers digging into heavy flesh as he arched high from the bed and his chest collided with his lover’s.
The contact sent Peter over the edge, spilling his seed to mingle with Connor’s gluing them together and holding them fast. Peter smiled as he moved to one side, his fingertips trailing over the sated and dreamy face of his partner.
“Missed you.” Peter whispered as he kissed the perfect pout and brushed away the last of the tears.
“I didn’t think you’d wait.” Connor admitted as he kissed Peter’s palm.
“I’m hurt.” Peter smiled. “I’d go to hell for you love, you should know that by now.”
“By the looks of it that’s exactly where you’ve been.” Connor snuggled down into the thick arms.
“Jeez, make up your mind. You told me I looked good, now your saying I look like hell.” Peter chuckled.
“Water to a thirsty man Peter always looks good.”
“Is that what you were? Thirsty love?” Peter’s lips caught the dark hair and kissed gently.
“For you, always babe.”
“So.” Peter leaned up on his elbow and propped his head in his hand. “What do we do now?”
“Go home?” Connor asked a little too hopefully.
“Yes. Go home and then what? They’ve made a settlement offer in the millions Connor, even when I turn your estate back over to you, neither of us will have to work again.”
“I was thinking that we should run joint accounts from now on.”
“Joint accounts? You want everyone to know whom I’m sleeping with?” Peter smirked.
“I don’t care who knows anymore. I never meant for you to be hurt by keeping silent about our relationship babe. I only wanted to protect you.”
“Hey I know. Connor I want my life back with you. I couldn’t stand it some nights you know. I’d even wear your socks into work if I had a meeting with Elsinger, just to give me strength. Other times, I’d hug your sweaters or shirts in bed with me, believing that I could still smell you on them. I was a mess, but I survived love. It’s nothing compared to what you went through.”
“What I went through? I don’t remember most of, I woke up several months ago to be told I was lucky to be alive and that I was safe, but to the world I was dead. I’d lost everything, and then Elsinger delivered the coup de grace personally.”
“He told you I was dead and so was Cooper.” Peter continued his gentle stroking.
“Yes, I don’t remember much after that, I wanted to kill him so they sedated me, I could barely walk babe and I felt so empty, if I’d have known that he lied I’d have moved heaven and earth to get to you.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Peter whispered urgently. “Connor I know you have difficulty believing you’re worth loving, but I do with every part of me.”
“I trusted Anton to look after you babe, where was he?”
“I wasn’t in the mood to be looked after Connor, besides by the time he was over being angry with me I’d more or less decided that I wasn’t interested in a friendship with any of them. If they couldn’t see I was hurting too, then what kind of friends were they?”
“That’s not the point. I can see the ache Peter, and I’m not totally myself at the moment. What would have been his first clue? When you forgot to fight them back? When you let them walk on you? When they found you with my gun in your mouth?” Connor spoke softly but the anger in his voice was real and each word found the mark, scorching close to the truth. “You considered it didn’t you?” Connor asked gently as the arms closed around him again.
“Almost constantly, when you first left Mrs. Mac tried to get me to be reasonable, she changed the sheets on the bed and we had a terrible row.”
“Because you needed to smell me? To imagine that I was still real?”
“I lost it in the first few weeks love, I’d barely hold it together at work and then Lindsey would snipe at me, or there’d be whispers in the corridors and people would walk away from me as they glared and the strange part was most of them never even knew you. Then I’d come home and Mrs. Mac would have moved things around, a cup or a glass you’d used the morning we left, a piece of paper in the den and I’d get so far beyond reasonable I’d bolt from the house and go for a run, I couldn’t be there and couldn’t be anywhere else.”
“What kept you going?”
“I don’t know, I was tired Connor, I just wanted the hurt to stop, didn’t want to be around people who knew you, didn’t have the energy to fight them anymore.” Peter shrugged.
“And then one day you didn’t have to be.” Connor moved into the embrace conveying his love with body and hands as he listened to the quiet pain in Peter’s voice.
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