~~~***~~~
Peter Axon loved his loft, really loved it. The small outside courtyard paved with flagstones looked over an older part of the city and a few well-tended pot plants swayed in the cool night air. From here, he could imagine he could see the world. Problem was right now he hated that world. He’d lost friends today and the bottle of beer made its way to the trash can along with several others. He frowned, ran his hand through his hair and went to bed. Nothing to be done Elsinger had said. The Office would take care of it, but the truth was there was nothing to take care of. It was too late and he ached, the hollow empty sound of platitudes that were meaningless and trite.
~~~***~~~
Vaughn looked at the clock again, four am. He wondered if he should just let the guy sleep it off and then ring, but a quick look into the drunk tank and he decided against it. Sam was a good girl; she’d never done drugs before and got scared. If it hadn’t been for the OSIR guys she’d have died and he owed them one. Maybe this would begin to take care of the debt.
~~~***~~~
Peter sat bolt upright and peered at the clock. He hated midnight calls, more he hated four am calls and thought bitterly about ignoring it.
“This had better be good.” He growled down the phone.
“Dr. Axon?” The voice was vaguely familiar and Peter tried to remember where he’d heard it before and gave up the unequal task.
“Yeah. Who is this?”
“It’s Vaughn Johnson Boston PD. We met awhile ago.”
Peter’s face cleared. “Sam’s dad?”
“Yeah. Look sorry to wake you but do you know a guy called,” there was silence on the line as the cop looked at the ID, “Connor Andrew Doyle?”
“Doyle?” Peter spat the name coldly. “Yeah sure, what’s up?”
“Friend of yours?”
“Colleague why?”
“Got picked up after a bar brawl, local PD want to press charges but we got enough to do, thought you might like to come and get him before they process him.”
“Bar brawl? Connor?”
“Not supposed to do this, but that boss of yours doesn’t look like the forgiving type and Doyle’s a little busted up.”
“Thanks Vaughn.”
“No problems, you might like to bring him a jacket.”
“On my way.” Peter put the phone down and dressed, before grabbing an extra jacket and his car keys.
The drive to the station wasn’t long, and in the early morning it was even shorter, he put his foot down and stopped outside, taking the steps three at a time.
“Hey Dr Axon.”
“Peter.” He corrected the middle-aged officer. “How’s Sam?”
“She’s good, actually she’s better than good. Gonna be valedictorian for the school year.”
“Hey that’s great. So where is the Professor?”
Vaughn worried his bottom lip, been in the job too long not to notice the tension in the young man’s back and the flinty glare to his eyes. “You two don’t get along?”
“He’s my boss.”
“Case Manager?”
“Yeah, I take it you haven’t told Elsinger about this?”
“No. Personally I don’t like the man, thought if Doyle was a friend of yours I could return the favour.” Vaughn rapped on the security gate for the guard and led the way down the dark corridor. The odour of excrement and vomit made Peter nauseous.
“I’ll take care of him. Any charges?” Peter asked as he peered into the tank and saw a very dishevelled figure huddled at the top of a bunk, his shirt all but gone, blood staining his face and his left eye already beginning to swell and colour.
“Harry wants you to pay for his dry cleaning; other than that, no.”
“Classy digs.” Peter muttered as he walked into the room and tapped Doyle on the shoulder.
“Oh great.” Doyle greeted him sourly.
“Thanks I love getting up at four am to rescue you too. You’d rather I call Frank?” Peter glowered.
“They haven’t already?” Doyle slurred his mind still fuzzy from the booze.
“No and they won’t if you come with me now.” Peter insisted and helped Doyle to his feet as he swayed. Axon wrapped the leather jacket around the smaller man and with an arm around his waist walked him outside. “The Boat House is the rough end of town for you isn’t it?”
“Obviously.” Connor swayed again as the cold night air hit him in the face and the colour drained from him.
“Jeez, if you’re going to puke can you do it in the gutter?” Peter hoisted him up heedless of the yelp of pain that made Doyle stiffen in his touch.
“No I’m fine. Thanks.”
“Anyone at home to look after you?” Peter’s touch became soothing as he belted Connor into the car and wrapped a blanket around the shivering man.
“No. I’ll be okay, go home, sleep, aspirin. Die quietly.” Connor offered.
Peter chuckled lightly before he made his decision. “In your condition? Fuck, if Frank finds out I left you like this he’ll kill me.”
“I’ll be okay Peter, don’t panic.” Connor answered tiredly.
“Yeah sure. My place or you can walk home.”
“Your place.” Connor nodded and fell into sleep.
Peter smiled, despite his arctic fa?ade and the constant dismissal, Doyle looked remarkably young and approachable in his sleep and Peter felt the first faint stirrings of a desire he hadn’t had for many years. He reached out a hand and gently caressed Connor awake.
“Your place?” Doyle roused himself and peered out of the car window.
“Yep.”
“Tell me it’s not the top floor?” Connor asked morosely as he looked on the four-story apartment block again.
“Then I won’t tell you.” Peter smiled and offered a surprisingly gentle hand.
In the full light of the loft Axon surveyed the damage to his associate and winced. “I think we should get you cleaned up and into bed.” Peter led Connor into his bedroom and sat him on the end of the bed as he stripped away the torn clothing, revealing bruises along the lightly furred frame. He came back a few moments later with a bowl of warm water, cloths and towels along with the medical kit and began to gently bathe the wounded areas. Connor sighed softly and amazingly allowed the touch, his own body responding to its urgent demands and it wasn’t till Peter touched the peroxide drenched cotton wad to his lip that he realized and pulled himself upright.
“I can do the rest.” Connor blushed and fidgeted and Peter was entranced. The man actually was embarrassed at being touched. Since such a rare opportunity showed itself he continued his gentle ministrations.
“Connor just once let me do something to help you.” Peter pleaded gently and continued applying ointment and salve to the various scrapes.
Doyle lowered his head and smiled sadly. “Would that I could,” he said and Peter’s heart ached.
“Why not?” Peter tilted the defiant chin back up so that he could look into the liquid chocolate depths of his friend’s eyes. Connor sighed and leaned forward brushing his lips against Peters. Axon was riveted to the spot, unable to move, to breath and his lack of action embrazened Connor as he kissed him again, cupping his head in his hand and parting the sweet lips. Shocked Peter sat on his heels and grasped the sides of the bed pushing gently into the kiss and when it ended he saw utter misery in Connor’s eyes.
“That’s why.” Connor said quietly before standing up and going into the bathroom.
“So basically” Matt drawled, “your great seduction of Peter was you got drunk and stuck your tongue down his throat.”
Connor laughed. “Elegantly put, but basically true.”
“And the rest is history?” Matt put the mug down, enthralled by the tale and feeling closer to the man next to him in each passing moment. He realised somewhat belatedly that he was being a little voyeuristic in this but dismissed it immediately, his curiosity getting the better of him.
“Well not precisely.”
The pain strobed through his head like hot needles and he groaned as he rolled onto his side and buried his face in the pillow. Connor remember vividly why he didn’t drink and cautiously cracked open an eye. The light that shot through him galvanised him to the spot and he put the pillow over his head to shut down the roaring in his ears. It didn’t help.
Gentle fingers dug into his shoulder, and he froze. ‘Oh God,’ he groaned inwardly. ‘What have I done?’
“Connor.” Peters voice was incredibly loud.
“Decibels.” Connor muttered as he pushed himself upright and regretted the movement, everything hurt.
“Decibels?” Peter smiled and cocked his head to one side.
“You’re exceeding your decibel limit.” Connor waited for the room to stop swaying and looked around. It was extraordinary. The bedroom was walled on one side by huge plate glass windows, curtain-less, looking out onto a cheerful courtyard complete with heavy cedar furniture and huge plants in terracotta pots on flagstone. Peter sat on the side of the bed, clad only in low-slung grey sweat pants; Connor closed his eyes and groaned.
“Aspirin.” Peter prodded the clenched fist open and dropped two white pills into his palm along with a glass of water.
“Thank you.”
Peter waited before taking the glass away and crossed his legs on the bed; Connor avoided looking at him, all sleek lines over muscle and sinew. “You had quite a night.” Peter chuckled and Connor rested his head against the padded headboard.
“So it seems, luckily I don’t remember most of it.”
“Fortunate I guess. What do you remember?”
“Being angry, getting drunk and by the looks of me probably into a brawl.” Connor looked at his hands.
“You’re lucky- you should see it from my side.” Peter laughed. “Local policeman is a friend we helped on a case a while back. He recognized your ID.” Peter reached behind him and threw Connor’s wallet onto his lap.
“So the old man doesn’t know?” Connor checked his wallet and was grateful to find it intact.
“No. No charges were laid, Vaughn called me to come and get you and well here you are. Since you’re on compassionate leave for the next few days I suspect that your face will more or less return to normal before you have to confront him.”
“Great. And thank you, by the way.”
“Oh I just love getting up at four am to go visit drunk tanks. You can buy me dinner when you feel better.” Peter pushed up off the bed and threw a towel onto it. “Shower’s over there, new toothbrush is on the counter and there’s some shaving gear. Your clothes.” Axon prowled the room and produced a brown paper bag full of foul smelling clothes. “Are pretty much cactus. But you can borrow some stuff. Might be a bit big for you though.” He pulled out a pair of jeans washed to butter softness and a jumper along with underwear that curiously was still in its store bag. Connor swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched the lithe frame move around the room, his eyes catching on the tattoo on Peter’s shoulder.
“You were in the Marines?” Connor asked schooling his treacherous body into calm.
“Once or twice.” Peter laughed. “Marine Recon.”
“Semper Fidelis, Always faithful.” Connor pinched the bridge of his nose.
“You’ll feel better after you shower.” With that Peter dropped the clothing onto the bed along with a robe and padded to the kitchen.
Visions, he hated vision especially in strange showers, while his body ached under the hot spray and prayed for him to be still. His mind reared into alert status as terror and despair flooded through him when he closed his eyes. He’d kissed him, he’d actually kissed him and Peter was still being civil. He marvelled again at the gentle soul of the man who’d come to his rescue and prayed that the other shoe would drop sooner rather than later. He couldn’t live in suspense like this and needed to go home. Instead he dressed in the borrowed clothing and freshly shaven; he made it into the kitchen.
“Out here.” Peter called from the courtyard and he followed the voice outside. On the table were a jug of cold orange juice, and a mug of black coffee. Peter sat on the sidewall and stretched his coffee mug on the ground next to him.
“Okay.” Swallowing his own growing dismay Connor braved the orange juice and came to stand next to Peter. “What did I do?”
“Do?” Peter was the picture of innocence.
“Yes Peter DO? What did I do? You’re being far too considerate.”
“I resent that, I’m always considerate.” Peter smiled and disarmed the man again, taking him out at the knees.
“Peter?” the crisp tone was back and Connor winced as he raised his voice slightly the throbbing in his head was down to almost tolerable.
“You were drunk Connor, and beat up. I brought you home, put on a bandaid and put you to bed. Nothing to tell.”
“I know what I did Peter. I was drunk not stupid.”
“That’s speculative at this point.” Peter teased.
“I’m waiting for you to knock my teeth down my throat or throw me out.”
“Yes I know. You’ve been quietly freaking out all afternoon.”
“Afternoon?” Connor looked down at his watch, gritted his teeth, and rubbed his temples to ease the ache. “So for God’s sakes man just hit me and get it over with.”
“Did it ever occur to you to just ask?” Peter’s voice was also clipped and tight.
“To ask what? Excuse me Dr. Axon I think you’re hot and want desperately to screw your brains out? No it did not occur to me to ask.” Connor was angry and he suspected the roaring in his ears was not from the hangover.
Peter laughed. “Well you’d have gotten my attention at least, and it might have been nicer than being scowled at constantly.”
“I’m sorry Peter, I’m really sorry.” Connor answered dissolutely.
“So am I.” Peter’s voice was soft, not the strident and angry tone that Connor expected. He felt a gentle hand lift his jaw up and he brushed his fingers across the sensual mouth. “I’m only guessing here that you could have done a lot better if you were sober at the time.” Peter leaned in and licked the lips in front of him, insinuating his tongue to taste the sweet juice and minty toothpaste on Connor’s palette. Without breaking the contact he leaned his body closer in and took the glass from numb fingers, pulling the smaller man into him and running his hands gently down the stiff back.
Connor moaned low in his throat and gave into the kiss; his hands clenching as Peter took them in his own and guided them to his waist. He felt light-headed as the kiss deepened, his lungs starving for oxygen and his breathing became laboured. Peter moved back but kept a gentle hold his hand, running his other one down the slim back as he guided the dark head to his shoulder. Content to simply hold and be held they stayed silent for long minutes. Connor roused himself and looked up into the open face.
“I was right.” Peter smiled down. “Much better when you’re sober.”
“No it didn’t occur to me to ask Peter.” Connor stepped back and away. “How could I? I was so certain you’d deck me.”
“How long?”
“Oh months.” Connor smiled ruefully.
“Really?” Peter asked ridiculously pleased with himself.
“Don’t gloat, its not becoming.”
“Becoming what?” Peter wandered over to the table and poured himself a glass of juice.
“You realize that you’re being impolite?”
“Because I’m happy? Now that’s twisted. Come and sit down Connor, before either of us makes a mistake. I want to make sure you understand how things work.”
Connor felt his heart drop as he sat down, things had never been easy for him, and he suspected the best to hope for was a quick mercy fuck and a pat on the butt.
“Have you always been gay?”
“Yes.”
“My guess is that you haven’t had a chance to do a lot about it.” Peter sipped at the juice and pulled his feet onto the seat.
“I’ve always been in a position of authority, most of the places I’ve worked would find it rather awkward to deal with any repercussions.”
“The forces does that to people.”
“You seemed to manage.”
“I lived in Paris for awhile. Europeans are not nearly as homophobic as we are, besides I’m bi, makes life easy.”
“I see.”
“Do you? Connor, I’ve wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you, and my wants or needs or preferences are no different from yours- however, I do have a few rules I live by and you may not like them.”
“Such as?”
“First: I don’t do casual, so if we continue with this you’d have to be in it for the long haul, committed to making an effort towards a relationship.”
Connor nearly choked. “You’re serious?”
“I am, and as amazing as it may sound, totally faithful, if and I say if we are together, it’s exclusive.”
“And that exclusivity starts now I take it?”
“Yeah. So if that’s too much for you then we’ll take it as read and book.”
“No recriminations, no arguments, just okay so we don’t want the same thing but we can still work together.”
“That’s about the size of it. So it’s up to you.”
“And you’d make love to me?” Connor asked wistfully, not daring to look at his friend.
Peter was on his knees on the flagstones before Connor and looked up, his blue eyes smoky with desire. “Every day.” Peter answered softly.
“God you’re so beautiful.” Connor reached forward and caressed the lightly stubbled jaw.
“You’re still drunk.” Peter smiled and dropped his voice to a low sultry whisper. “I want you, and not for tonight, not for convenience, not for a mercy fuck or a buddy fuck. I want you, all of you. I want to taste your lips, I want to stroke your body and feel it respond to me, I want to watch you come as I bury myself deep inside of you and I want to hear you scream my name when you come. I take top or bottom but neither exclusively. I want to taste you, touch you, hold you and love you, and I want to wake up with you in my arms and go to sleep the same way. But if that’s too much for you Connor I understand. Nothing I do is half-hearted and when I love it’s completely, I’m just waiting for you to decide if I’m enough.” There was a small self-depreciating smile on Peter’s face as he sat back. His own hands had stayed in his lap, he hadn’t touched Connor and looking up he saw the first silver tracks of tears spill down his face.
“If you’re enough for me?” Connor’s laugh was brittle. “Oh God, if I’m enough for you. Peter you don’t know what you’re getting.”
“So tell me.”
“Damaged goods.” Connor answered softly.
“You want me?”
“Yes.”
“Can you trust me enough to love you?”
“Instantly.”
“Can you love me? I’m not asking for now, but in time.”
“Not in time Peter, right here, right now.”
Peter smiled. “Then anything else we can work through, together.”
Connor curled forward and wrapped his arms around the broad shoulders tiny shivers wracking his body. “Yes.”
“Yes?” Peter wrapped him up in a comforting embrace.
“Yes to all of it. No problems.”
“Serious?” Peter kissed his neck.
“Totally.”
“Any conditions?”
Connor pulled back. “Just one.”
“And that would be?”
“We keep this private, work and private don’t mix, no one knows. Elsinger and Rollins tend to get the gay guys hurt, you remember Phillipa?”
“Yeah she resigned after a lab accident.”
“No they rigged the lab accident after they found out she was a lesbian.”
“Oh. So no one knows, if I get you I can do that. Besides I keep the team at bay the less they know the better.”
“Elsigner will manipulate either or both of us to keep us in line with his way of thinking and then dispose of us as soon as practicable. I mean it Peter, no slips.”
“Okay you got it.” Peter leaned back in to taste the skin on Connors neck, his lips dancing over the rapidly firing pulse point.
“So he told me what he wanted to do to me.” Connor stood up and stretched his legs.
“And he did.” Matt theorized.
“Every day.” Connor blushed slightly. “I don’t suppose there’s a bathtub up there?” He looked hopefully up the stairs.
“Yes there is and my kit’s in there, probably not your brand but at least its not army issue.”
“What time is Anton due here?”
Matt looked down at his watch. “Another two, maybe three hours. I’ll call stores and get those clothes sent up and some food. Got a preference?”
“Steak.” Connor answered. “Bout an inch thick.” Connor held up his hand and indicated with his fingers.
“See what I can do.”
There was indeed a bathtub and with glee Connor put the plug in and filled it, finding shampoo and sandalwood scented soap. He sighed happily as he closed the bathroom door and sank into the hot tub. The first privacy in months and he hugged it close to his heart, soaping his hair and body and scrubbing away at the last vestiges of his incarceration. He took the time to put his body in order and in doing so his mind. He knew what Anton would be looking for, and if it were up to his old friend he knew he owed it to both of them to be prepared. Nearly half an hour passed and the water-cooled, Connor turned the tap on with his foot and topped it up. He let his hand reach down and fondle his cock, which throbbed for the first time in months.
Peter nibbled at his neck, stubble moving over freshly shaved skin and he tugged on his earlobes, gently sucking the fold of flesh into his mouth, savouring the salt tang of his lover on his lips. Determined to make it last he ran his hands along the compact frame and pinched the nipples though the thick jumper and stood pulling Connor along with him to his feet.
Peter kissed him again a faint tremor of urgency ran through him as he ran his hands down to cup the firm rounded butt and massage it. Connor moaned.
“Bedroom?”
“Yes.” Connor breathed.
“You up to it?” Peter asked solicitously.
Connor rocked his hips forward and smiled, his erection pressed through the jeans into Peter’s hip. “Moot point.” Connor smiled and Peter drowned in the soft expression, his long fingers finding every knot on his spine.
Unlike the previous evening Peter took his time undressing his soon to be lover, the trim frame softened with dark fur had Peter dipping his head to lave at the nipples so gently that Connor swooned. Axon steadied him with a hand in the middle of his back and dropped elegantly to his knees to undo the fastenings on his jeans sliding them over slim hips and off. He rubbed his cheek against the thick cock that sprung from a nest of dark curls and deeply breathed in the musk of arousal, sending jolts of urgency down to his own cock as it lengthened and throbbed.
He licked along the length and kissed Connor’s hip, his tongue laving the area as he nibbled.
“Up.” Connor ground out as he pulled Peter to his feet. His own mouth finding the pulse point above Peter collar bone and suckled, marking his lover as his fingers traversed the flat stomach and eased the sweats from his body. He pushed forward his cock coming directly into contact with Peter and tiny sparks flew behind his eyes as he arched his neck back. Quick to seize the opportunity Peter set his teeth to the exposed throat and found Connor grew if possible harder as he back them both towards the bed and pursued Connor up the soft bedding till he sat with his back to the headboard. Peter rocked back on his knees and stared as Connor set pillows behind his back and spread his legs wide, allowing Peter to see all of him as he reached a hand down and slowly stroked himself.
Peter smiled and ran his hands along Connors parted thighs and found his lips again.
“Which way do you want it?” He blew streams of warm air into Connors ear and felt the man shiver against him.
“Make love to me babe, please.” Connor’s voice was a raw whisper, silk over desire, passion over heat, smouldering as he eyed his lover.
“You got it.” Peter answered and snagged the lube and condoms from the bedside table.
“I’m hoping.” Connor smiled as he moved to turn over.
“No. I want to see your face.” Peter’s voice was soft in his ear as the questing fingers stroked his balls and further back to the tiny puckered opening.
“Oh.” Connor dug his fingers into Peter’s shoulders and surged against the passion- hot skin at the same time fingers breached his body, gently, slowly opening him with soft words. Gentle words of love, of commitment, of honour, of trust and Connor found the tears tracked his face again as Peter pinned him to the headboard with his body and thrust inside.
“Want to see you come.” Peter whispered, holding himself still, searching the beloved face for any hint of pain. The soft lips parted silently as Connor smiled against the mouth that plundered his as Peter began to gently rock his hips, each movement stretching and filling him until the thick shaft rested against his prostate and Connor bucked into the touch. The firm heat, and velvet body pushing against Peter caused him to moan low in his throat but still he wouldn’t be rushed. “Want to feel you come around me.” He whispered again, his teeth tugging on the ear it tormented.
Connor began to moan and thrash on the bed, the sensual overload almost too much for him to bear, reduced to his base components and reconstituted in Peter’s firm embrace, whole, unmarked and loved. Oh so very loved, from the pores of his skin to the soul he doubted having, he finally knew sweet, gentle love, with a partner who cherished him. Tomorrow was a long way away but now this felt so right.
Unable to hold back any longer, Peter lifted Connors legs onto his biceps and braced himself at the head of the bed as he began to rock harder. “Touch yourself.” Peter whispered hoarsely. “Show me what you like my beautiful love.”
His breath coming in short gasps Connor did as he was told, reaching down to squeeze his hardened shaft and roll the balls in their sac as he stared directly into Peter’s eyes, darkened now with desire and need.
“Come Connor, come for me.” Peter sobbed and Connor threw his head back his body arched away from the pillows as he spilt his seed over his hand. His body contracted and sent Peter in oblivious ecstasy, seconds behind he came inside Connor and claimed his lips for a searing kiss.
“Love you.” Peter kissed him again, releasing his body from the uncomfortable position and pulled him against his chest as he lay alongside of Connor’s dazed form.
“Oh God. I never knew.” Connor whispered as he buried his face against the hairless chest and stroked at the sweat soaked body. His fingers making lazy patterns in the excesses of both of them and looked up when he could trust himself to again.
A lifetime away Connor replayed the scene in his mind, the gentle touches, Peter’s voice scraping every nerve in him raw with desire as he squeezed himself in the bath water tugging at his body with an urgent need and came silently behind his hand as the tears fell. He didn’t stop them; instead he let them free, releasing the exhaustion and months of deprivation. And minute-by-minute Connor Doyle became something like his old self again. He smiled when he heard the soft rap on the door.
“Anton’ll be here in an hour, you want to eat before or after?”
“How about with?” Connor yelled back.
“That sounds like a plan.” Matt moved off.
Connor remember the lazy touches in bed that afternoon, the ones that said the words both of them said in their hearts. For the first time in his life he went to sleep in the strong arms of love and knew that he would wake the same. His life changed in that single defining moment, and had never been the same since. No matter what constant calamity had befallen them, no matter the hours and degrees of pain and separation he knew the heart of the man whom he held dear and nothing would shake his confidence in that. At worst Peter and he would not reconcile but his lover had never been nor would ever be to him a cruel man. He’d support him, honour him and help him back to a life where he could be whole, even if that meant being alone. The word sent waves through his body, but he was strong and even alone as long as Peter was alive and happy, he could adjust and find solace in that knowledge. He would never doubt and steeled his heart to that resolve and calmed his mind.
~~~****~~~
“Hey Lindsey.” Peter smiled as he sat outside, the dying rays of the sun turning the garden into liquid gold.
“Hey yourself.” She dropped a kiss onto his head and sat opposite. “How are things?”
“Well apart from Dad making eyes at Mrs. Mac, and both of them trying to feed me constantly, okay.” He smiled, and it was different, as if somewhere he found his heart again and it was fine to live. The shadow of grief was gone, not forgotten, but gone.
“They worry.” Lindsey teased as she patted his arm. He captured her fingers in his hand and brought the palm to his lips.
“I never thanked you.” He said softly.
“For?” Lindsey blushed, a remarkably beautiful woman, all the more remarkable that she was unaware of her beauty.
“For staying with me in the hospital.”
“Your father promised not to say anything.” Lindsey scowled.
“Oh he didn’t, I just knew, could smell your perfume when I woke up and figured you must have been there the whole time.”
“I couldn’t leave you.” Tears welled in her eyes as he pulled her forward onto his lap and gently brushed them aside with the back of his hand.
“You never did Linds, not even when you were angry with me. I knew you were there, always, all I had to do was ask.”
“Thank you.” She turned in his lap and chastely kissed his lips as Ray came barrelling through the door and stopped stock-still.
“Hey Dad.” Peter answered as he gazed into her eyes and traced her jaw with his finger.
“You know every time I think I get a handle on you, you change the rules.” Ray groused as he came to sit down.
“Best defense is a creditable offense, taught me that when I was six Dad.”
“You listened? I’ll be damned. You never listened.”
Lindsey laughed as she got up and put a little distance between them.
“I always listened. Lindsey?”
Lindsey sat rigidly in the chair, her discomfit obvious.
“Okay, what plot have you two hatched up?” Peter smiled looking from one face to another.
“Ray’s worried about you Peter.”
“Because I’m convinced Connor is still alive?” Peter glowered.
“Yes.” Lindsey answered. “Peter we went over every inch of that installation and he was gone. As much as I want to believe he’s alive, I can’t.”
“Look this really isn’t an issue open for debate guys. But I have my convictions and they are mine, not your problem. Anton says I’m fine and the psych evaluations are perfect, so what’s the beef?”
“The beef, son is that it’s not healthy to continue on this way.”
“It’s not unhealthy either, sooner or later Dad, I will know the truth, and in the meantime I have a life.” He stood up and put his back to them.
“Peter?” Lindsey’s voice was strained.
“Yeah?”
“What makes you so sure?”
“When I died on the table, call it a near death experience if you like but I wanted to die. Wanted to just go, stop the pain, the hurt, and the fear and find Connor. Only problem was he wasn’t where he should be and they pulled me back. I thought at the time I was hallucinating but when I died again and he wasn’t there I knew he was here, I can’t explain it Lindsey. But we’ve both gone through near death experiencers before and believed them. Why?” he turned to face her. “Are you finding it so hard to believe me?”
“I don’t disbelieve Peter, I’m just, we’re just worried.” Lindsey touched his arm as he walked away.
“Going out?” Ray asked as he bowed his head and stared at his hands.
“Yes I am going out.” Peter slung a leather jacket over his shoulders and picked up the motorcycle helmet before staring at Lindsey who sat dissolutely. “And before you say anything Dad, I’m nearly forty, and can look after myself and my date.” Lindsey’s head snapped up.
“Date?” She asked softly.
“Unless of course you’d rather moulder here with the folks.” Peter smiled and threw Connor’s helmet to her.
“Coming dear.” She smiled and whizzed passed Ray. “Ah where are we going?”
“Scituate.”
“To the lighthouse?”
“Yeah, there’s a nice little caf? there, buy you something sweet.” He bent and kissed her cheek.
“At least take the cell.” Ray called after them.
Peter waved it in his hand before dropping it in his pocket.
~~~~****~~~~
“Anton.” Matt grinned broadly as he plucked the old doctors bag from the back of the jeep and ushered him up the small path.
“Hey Matt. You’re in good form.” Anton smiled as he clasped his hand over Matts shoulder. “So where is my patient?”
“Inside.”
Anton stood still. Inside? Didn’t make any sense, what would Elsinger be doing out of custody and put up in reasonable accommodation?
“You eat?” Matt asked as he opened the door and the faint aroma of cooking steak wafted through the house.
“On the plane, though if your cooking steak that’s a different matter.” Anton laughed and turned around to close the door.
“Actually,” Connor smiled as he folded his arms across his chest and leaned on the doorframe. “Matt can’t cook, so I inherited KP.”
Shocked Anton turned and leaned against the wall, his face a curious mix of relief, disbelief and astonishment. He recovered quickly and moved with amazing speed as he wrapped Connor up in his arms and smiled.
“Alive?” he felt the pulse point in his throat with his fingers and frowned. “You’re alive? Damned Peter was right all along. What happened? Does he know?” almost unable to control his joy Connor laughed and the sound was deep and mellow coming from the bottom of his chest and through his heart.
“Breathe Anton.” Connor counselled as he led his old friend into the kitchen and pulled out a chair.
“But.” Anton stammered.
“No- breathe.” Connor narrowed his eyes and put the glass of water down on the table. Instinctively Anton did as he was told and Matt marveled at the level of control Doyle had on the old man, in fact if he considered the matter closer to hand he marveled at the level of control Doyle had had on everyone including him.
Anton sipped the water as Matt put down a thick file on the table. “Case documents on Connor, you might like to read them, but I suggest you do it after you’ve eaten. They’re not pretty.”
Hendricks scowled as he thumbed through the pages. “I assume then that the President wants the psych evaluation done on you?” He looked at Connor who was laying salad on the table with new steamed potatoes.
“So it seems.” Connor answered. “How’s the malaria?”
“Oh fine, had an attack a while back but Clair caught it in time.” Anton ignored the shocked look on Matt’s face and realized just how far out of the loop he had been with his team.
“And you’ve got Katherine back?” Connor served the steaks and sat down.
“Yes, did you know that Elsinger was the original case manager on her disappearance?” Anton helped himself to the salad.
“No but it makes sense, you joined the OSIR not long after that.”
“Matt you could have told me that Connor was still alive.”
“No actually Anton I couldn’t, this is an awkward situation, Connor is only alive because Bob needs me to clean up this mess.”
“Indeed.” Anton raised his brows.
“Yes, no rush of course, but I need to tell Bob that its okay to let Connor go home, when that’s done you can have your shot with Elsinger if there’s anything left of him when I’m finished.”
“Time frame?” Anton asked.
“Forty-eight hours.” Matt closed his eyes as he savoured the steak.
~~~~****~~~~
“Alright Matt, let’s have it, preliminary background report on Doyle, the short version if you don’t mind.” Bob peered over his glasses as he sipped the scotch.
“Most of the mundane stuff is of little use to you Bob, but Doyle is ONI.”
“Naval Intelligence? You sure?”
“Absolutely.” Matt slid a folder across the table. “Spent seven months in the mid- eighties in Hunter Killer subs in Russian waters doing covert surveillance.”
“Top level security clearance, distinguished service record. What about his partner?”
“Peter Axon, Marine Recon. Did a five year tour of duty, taught at the Academy and finished his tour in Europe, went on to teach a physics course as Professor at the Sorbonne.”
Another folder was slid across the desk.
“Same security clearance.” Bob nodded.
“Moved back to the US and then home to Bell Island, taught at the local high school for six months and coached the local hockey team. He was offered a contract with the CDC in Atlanta, which he took and clocked up hundreds of hours in Hazmat environments. Elsinger made him an offer from there.”
“All right, you have a go, dependant on Hendricks report, so long as he’s stable you can organize transport back to Boston.”
“Anton has suggested we bring Axon back here to accompany him on the trip home.”
“Because he’s uncertain as to the nature of the relationship and wants to keep it in a controlled environment?”
“Partly. Mostly I think he just wants Peter to actually see what happened, where he was and that the decision was Elsinger’s and not Doyle’s.”
“I’ve never doubted Anton before, alright. Report on my desk in the morning, you can make arrangements to get him here now if you like.”
“Thanks, I’d still like that shot at Elsinger.”
“No problems, we have identified one officer who we cannot account for, he was the head of security on Doyle and was directly under Elsinger’s control.”
“He’ll go after Doyle.”
“Yes. Would fit, but we have an MP on point and the house is wired for security. Nevertheless, given our guest wants to go home, I would prefer not to have to explain his assassination.”
“Neither would I.” Matt rubbed his neck and sat back. “How are the NID boys handling the situation?”
“Closed ranks as we suspected, however, this is factional and not part of the main mandate and surprisingly enough we are getting cooperation. Curtis Rollins on the other hand.” Bob smiled.
“Oh yes? How is Curtis?”
“Up to his neck in shit old friend. He and Elsinger hatched the plan. Sealed orders that Doyle was given prior to the accident included details of the genetic experiment. Doyle knew from that moment that his life was forfeit. However, he refused to endanger his team, and he pulled the plug a lot earlier than Elsinger planned him to.”
“Got a copy of the orders?”
“But of course, Doyle sent them direct to his attorney.”
“Who still has them?”
“No we do, we intercepted the documents from the OSIR three weeks ago.”
“Good, now MackInroth.”
“Do tell.”
“Financial records don’t stand up to scrutiny.”
“We knew that.”
“Did you? Did you know the destination of the money, or the committees he funded against the US Government? Which included fundamentalist groups who had actively targeted the US at home and abroad?”
“You can prove that?”
“Yes, and a lot more, calm down Bob, MackInroth will be tried for treason and this mess will not rate a mention.”
“Excellent. Now I suggest you make travel arrangements and call Axon.”
~~~****~~~
“Hey Ray says you’ve taken my best girl out on a date.” Matt groused down the phone line.
“She was my best girl before she was yours, besides I’m here and you’re not.” Peter laughed as Lindsey rocked slowly in her chair, the remnants of chocolate cake left on her plate.
“Well I guess it’s only fair.”
“Because?” Peter wiped his mouth on the napkin.
“Because I had dinner with your lover.” Matt said slowly.
“If this is a joke Matt.” Peter warned his voice as cold as the arctic tundra.
“No, no it’s not. Peter, Connor is alive and is with Anton at the moment. When you get home there will be travel documents courtesy of the US Government, pack a bag and one for Connor.”
“Shit.” Peter became still, a smile warring with the tears. “You’re serious.”
“Yeah I am, Elsinger and Rollins have a lot to answer to Peter, and can you put Lindsey on?”
“Oh yeah sure.” Peter handed the phone across.
“Hello beautiful.” Matt drawled down the phone line.
“Hey Matt, what’s going on Peter looks like he’s seen a ghost.”
“Almost, I’ve found Connor.”
“Oh my God.”
“Alive and well. Get Axon home and packed. There’ll be a car sent for him within the next couple of hours. Play it close Lindsey, get Ray to run a secure environment around the house and tell him that if he needs orders that Anton’ll do it personally. In the meantime I need you to stay with Peter’s dad.”
“We expecting trouble?”
“We’ve got trouble Lindsey, I’m trying to fix it. Can you get in contact with Kelly and make sure he’s safe as well? Tell him Ant music did the trick and to follow his heart. He’ll know what I mean and he’ll also know it’s come from me.”
“Playing spy games Matt?”
“I never play and you owe me one date.”
“I think we owe you a great deal more.”
“Is that an offer?”
“Matt.” She warned softly a blush on her pretty features.
“Go, run. Get him ready I only have a thirty hour window here.”
“Not a problem.” She closed the connection and turned to face Peter. He was stunned, and tears tracked his face as he got up and walked across the street to the lighthouse and stared over the water.
“You were right.” Lindsey said softly.
“I know.” His voice was tight as he turned back to look at her and hugged her close to his chest.
“Oh God Peter, he’s alive.” Lindsey began to laugh and felt his arms tighten. “He’s really alive.”
For one of the few times in his life, Peter Axon was silent as joy washed through him and the ache in his heart subsided.
~~~****~~~
“So Connor, what do you remember?” Anton crossed his legs and flicked the switch on the small recorder on.
“Not a lot, I remember the gas plant and Peter. He came back and tried to drag me out, but by then I was pretty out of it.”
“You had a parasite in you?”
“Yes and it was reaching maturity. I can’t explain Anton, I knew it was a queen, the other creatures surrounded us and I let Peter believe they wanted a new host. That it was him they wanted.”
“You believe it was you?”
“No, not me, they were instinctively protecting the host of their queen.”
“Go on.”
“Peter ran and I grabbed the nitrogen spray and kept them back, I gave him as long as I could and then reached for the handle on the generator. I never made it.”
“Why?”
“Bright light and pain. Everything else is muddy. Flashes of faces, of words and of pain and cold. Everything went cold.” Connor drifted away and rubbed his arms absently.
“They put you in a cryo chamber.” Anton filled in the gaps.
“Yes I know, I’m also aware that they wanted to terminate the ‘experiment’ and that it was only after they conducted the pressure based experiments that they destroyed the creature and my body began to recover.”
“An unknown enzyme was released into your system which sped the recovery process. The amount of collateral damage done was extreme; normal recovery time would have been seven to twelve months. You’ve regenerated for want of a better term in less than three.”
“When I knew what was happening I fought. I doubt I was thinking clearly but I fought them physically and verbally until they sedated me.”
“Why did you stop fighting?”
Pain flashed through Connor’s expressive eyes as he perched his hands on his hips and turned to look outside, the night falling fast.
“Elsinger came to visit, called me the pet lab rat, and told me that it was unfortunate that I lost team members.”
“He told you Peter was dead?”
“And Cooper, showed me photo’s and a memorial plaque. He said Peter was killed in the explosion and Coop didn’t make it to the medical unit in time.”
“There were others though that did survive.” Anton assured him gently.
“Yes, but as you probably know by now I love Peter, he was my entire life.” The quiet distress in the voice spoke of remembered pain and current uncertainty.
“Don’t you mean is?”
“Not unless that’s what he wants.”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“Why would he?” Connor turned and sat down in the chair opposite.
“Perhaps you should tell me.”
“Probably, there are no guarantees in life Anton. Peter is a passionate man; he is genuinely attractive to most people who meet him. They want to spend time with him and there are others who have so much more to offer him than I have.”
“Yet obviously you had something he wanted?”
“Yes, though I’m not exactly sure what that was.”
“Which means you’re worried that he has found someone else and that you’ll no longer be necessary.”
“A little harsh Anton, but essentially true. It is a situation that only we can resolve.”
Anton smiled. “Well if it’s any consolation, when I spoke to him yesterday he said and I quote, ‘I know he’s alive and I intend to bring him home, all I have to do is find him.’”
“Home to what though? You see the dilemma? Peter takes his guilt seriously and if he’s been ostracized to the extent that Matt and you have suggested it becomes easy to hold onto something, especially when its unobtainable, to wrap it around yourself and use it to shield you from the hurt of others.”
“Spoken from experience?”
“Demonstrably.” Connor smiled ruefully.
“How do you feel about your confinement?”
“Angry. Relieved that it’s over, that I can hopefully leave this place and regain a semblance of normal life.”
“Any other feelings?”
Connor laughed again. “Okay Anton, I’m not paranoid, Elsinger set me up, and in fact I had full knowledge of the experiments prior to the trip to Russia. I also knew he wanted me to come back and allow one of my team to be used as a host.”
Anton blanched.
“Those instructions are in the hands of the Presidential staff, so am I paranoid? No, I do not fully believe that Matt can control this situation and that at some point in time the NID boys will make life difficult for us.”
“That’s not something within our control Connor, we could be hit by a bus tomorrow.”
“Too true and I am not a fatalist. However, when you expect an enemy to behave in certain ways it becomes second nature to watch for the warning signs.”
“Ahah.” Anton smiled. “Are you still attached to ONI?”
“You never become unattached unless you die.” Connor smiled, “and what’s probably not in your files is that my security clearance is as high as the Presidents. I spent five months on the bottom of the ocean in a Hunter Killer monitoring the Russians, Anton; small confined spaces do not bother me. I was trained for such.”
“So that’s how you learned Russian.”
“Yes.”
“Your rank?”
“Commander.”
“What do you want?”
“Right now?”
“Yes.”
“To talk to Peter.”
“I don’t see we have a problem with that.” Anton pulled out his laptop and after a few moments the screen flared to life. He patched a direct call through to Lindsey’s cell.
“Hello Lindsey.”
Connor’s head snapped up.
“Does Peter still have an uplink at home?”
Silence.
“Good, tell him to log on, I have someone here who wants to talk to him.” Connor shivered as Anton swivelled the laptop and camera around, “I can only guarantee a few minutes as we are in restricted space here Connor.” He patted him on the shoulder and left the room.
“Hey Anton.” Peter’s voice came over the link seconds before the pictures were received at both ends.
“Hey.” Connor swallowed as he clenched his hands in his lap, carefully neutral.
“Connor?” Peter’s voice was hoarse with emotion.
“Yeah.” By the time the digital uplink sent the live web feed tears had begun to form in Connor’s eyes and he was unable to stop them.
“Oh God, are you alright?” Peter frowned slightly.
“I am now.” Connor smiled.
“Matt’s arranged transport for me, I should arrive tomorrow, you’re really alright?”
“Yes babe, I’m fine. I’ve missed you.” Connor hated the need in his voice and found that it no longer mattered, he didn’t care how he embarrassed himself to this man, that he was alive counteracted even the worst of the pain.
“Oh God me too Connor. Jesus, Elsinger kept you there all this time?” Peter hunched forward.
“Yes, I was in a coma for almost fourteen months.”
“So you didn’t know what was going on?” Peter blew out a stream of air as he reached the screen.
“No, he told me you were dead. That I’d let you down.” The tears tracked the face now came faster and Connor wiped them away.
“Oh please love, don’t cry. It breaks me when you cry.”
“Sorry. I didn’t know Peter and when I started to fight them they sedated me till Matt arrived.”
“Praeger’s with you?”
“Not right now he’s down in the complex.”
“Okay. Connor Semper Fidelis.” Peter smiled.
“You don’t have to.”
“I know Connor, look this is a secure line and I’m alone are you?”
Connor nodded.
“Very first day remember?” Peter’s voice was gentle as he felt his lover’s pain.
“Yes.” Connor smiled and relaxed the tension in his shoulders.
“Hasn’t changed and won’t. You think somehow because the bastard conspired to keep us apart, to hurt us that it makes a difference to how I feel about you?”
“I’m not sure, pity and guilt do terrible things.”
Peter’s face clouded for a moment as he reigned in his temper. “Do you want me to come and bring you home?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation in Connor’s voice.
“And you want me to hold you again in my arms?”
“Yes.” Connor closed his eyes.
“Then don’t ever doubt me or the reasons why I do things. I’ve never stopped loving you.”
“It’s hard babe.” Connor sighed.
“It had better be.” Peter laughed as Connor slitted his eyes.
“You chatting me up?”
“Rather be feeling you up.”
“Actually so would I.” Connor laughed as he reached his fingers out to touch the screen. “I take it Lindsey gave you a hard time.”
“Yeah but now she knows about us, she’s softened up. She loves you too you know.”
“Yes I know, Anton says your father is there.”
“Making eyes at Mrs. Mac.”
Connor smiled. “Well he could do worse.”
“Mrs. Mac could do better, they are driving me nuts.”
“Peter I’m about lose the signal. Rollins got you hurt.”
Peter put his hand over his chest and smiled. “New scar for you to make better. I’m fine, and my car is here, I’m on my way my beautiful love.” The screen fizzed and showed the OSIR screen saver logo.
After a few moments Anton knocked on the door and pushed it open.
“Everything alright?” Anton asked as he dropped back down into the chair.
Connor nodded. “Yes.”
“And Peter?”
“Is on his way here, seems Matt made travel arrangements.”
“Our Matthew is very resourceful.”
“So it seems, was he a good Case Manager?”
“Truthfully? He’s very careful, and very emotive with his team. He and Peter butted heads frequently.”
“I can imagine, but somewhere they became friends.”
“Grudging respect.”
“Not so grudging from where I’ve been sitting lately. You’ve read the files?”
“Yes some of them. What in particular is bothering you?”
“They never told me if there were any eggs in my system.”
“Oh yes I never thought to look.” Anton retrieved the stack of files off the table in the small den and flicked through the medical reports. “It would appear that your system is totally clear, however.” He stood and retrieved his doctor’s bag. “Sleeve up.”
Connor pushed the sleeve back and Anton winced at the numerous bruises festooning the arm from the multiple IV’s. “My God.” He took Connor’s hand in his own and turned the arm over examining it. “Are you like this all over?”
“Just about.”
“The Psyche evaluation can wait, besides you’re as sane as I am.”
“Thank you, I think.” Connor smiled at the parochial tone.
“But the physical can’t. I want samples Connor, blood, urine etc.”
“They did all of them didn’t they?”
“Yes but I didn’t.”
“Oh.” Connor smiled.
~~~****~~~
“Frank, its good to see you.” Matt leaned insolently against the table in the small cell. Frank looked the worse for wear. His expensive clothes gone in favour of a hospital gown as restraints.
“I doubt that Matthew.”
“No really I don’t think I can imagine a place more appropriate, well perhaps a cheap motel.” Matt moved closer. “Were you really so arrogant as to believe I wouldn’t catch you?”
“You? Matthew you over estimate your abilities.”
“I would think its more likely you underestimated them. See Frank, we knew as far back as ’98 what you were up to, what we didn’t know was who was pulling your strings.”
“I don’t believe you.” Frank turned his face on the bed.
“You don’t have to, reality seems to be subjective to you anyway. See Bob, you remember Bob don’t you, Mr. President?” Matt jerked his thumb over his shoulder to the man who stood behind him. “Anyway Bob decided he wanted to clean out your little nest but not without MackInroth and Carroll going with you.”
“I have the right to an attorney.” Frank replied coolly as Matt loomed over the top.
“Actually no you don’t, you see we’ve decided to give you the same rights you gave Connor Doyle. Except there will be no rescue committee looking for you. In fact a couple of the boys in NID have some rather interesting ideas in mind.”
“You wouldn’t.” Frank spat.
“No he wouldn’t” The President answered coldly, “But I would.”
Frank Elsinger for one of the very few times in his life knew true fear and screamed as the door snicked shut.
~~~****~~~
“Where’s Connor?” Matt asked as he rummaged in the fridge for a beer.
“Upstairs hopefully sleeping.” Anton passed his hand over his face and looked tired.
“You let him talk to Pete yet?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, things didn’t go too well?” Matt pulled out a chair and sat down.
“No actually things went well, he is experiencing a minor case of paranoia but other than that he is sane. He’s not exhibiting any serious psychological or trauma induced psychosis.”
“So he can go home.”
“Soon as Peter gets here.”
“So if that’s not the problem what is?”
“Have you seen him naked?”
“Ah Anton, leading question there.” Matt smiled.
“My God man,” Anton was up and pacing. “He’s a walking bruise. I’m surprised he’s still on his feet. How the hell could they do that to him? To anyone?” Anton’s anger was a palpable presence in the kitchen.
“I don’t know. Seen a lot of whackos over the years Anton, as I’m sure you have as well, but this level of sadism is new to me. It’s horrific.” Matt agreed.
“Mainly because they did it in the name of science.”
“No, they did it in the name of money Anton and that makes it worse. Bob’s given him the clear based on your meeting in the morning, which will include a healthy compensation offer. You offered him the opportunity to come back to the OSIR?”
“He never left. He’s still on the payroll as officially missing not dead. Which means if he wants he can come back and I’ll be glad to have him. His physical condition will preclude that however, it could take weeks before he is well enough to start training again.”
“I didn’t realise it was that bad.”
“Multiple abrasions, incisions that are barely healed, shoddy examination practices that have cause tearing and secondary infections which from the reports he was deliberately exposed to in order to test the viability and resiliency of the enzyme in his body. He’s underweight, granted not by much but enough that any further slide will be hazardous and he’s got arthritis in his knee which may or may not be treatable with anti-inflammatory medication. He’s sick Matt, really sick and tired. I wish Peter were here now.”
“Comfort is not something he’s had a lot of recently and I doubt he’ll get much sleep.”
“Well that I can assure- I’ve given him a light sedative and have done a complete physical on him, I’ll have my test results back in a couple of hours.”
“Good. I’m going to bed as well then, I’ll look in on him when I go up. Anton don’t stay up too late and put the cat out.”
“Cat?”
“What we don’t have a cat?” Matt frowned and Anton smiled.
~~~***~~~
Matt rapped lightly on the bedroom door and slowly pushed it open. The room was small and functional with a double bed. The curtains were left open and the lace fluttered against the cool night air. He shivered involuntarily and paced into the room to pull the window closed. Connor lay curled on his side; thin pajamas barely concealing the goose flesh that stood proud against he pale skin and the fine sheen of sweat. Matt picked up the blanket that he’d kicked off onto the floor and put it back on the bed, pulling it up with the sheets over the hunched shoulders. Connor unwound slightly and tipped over onto his back, his hand flung out to the other side of the bed and scowled when he discovered it cold and empty. He curled back in on himself and Matt smiled as a sudden spur of inspiration overtook him and he made a quick dash to Anton’s room.
He opened the wardrobe door and peered inside pushed Anton’s clothing to one side and closed his hand around the object. A care worn Teddy bear, soft and well loved by the many tiny hands it had passed through, and he tucked it under his arm and headed back to Connor’s room.
Connor was still curled on his side and after a moment Matt slipped the bear under the covers and onto the pillow next to the sleeping man, the sedative Anton had given him earlier kept him in Morpheus’ keep. Connor touched his fingers to the soft fur and instinctively he pulled the toy into his arms and curled around the small comfort as the ghost of a smile fled across his face as Matt padded softly back to the door.
“I’m touched.” Anton said softly as he pulled the door closed.
“Nah I’m just a big kid at heart and he’s had a rough time of it.” Matt shrugged feeling a little foolish.
“Don’t ever apologize for caring Matt.”
“I get cookies and milk now?” Matt beamed.
“No you’ll have nightmares, now be a good boy and go to bed.”
“Party pooper.” Matt stuck his tongue out and grumbled all the way to the end of the hall into his room.
Anton felt a twinge of pain. He’d miss Matt, almost as much as he’d missed Connor, but now he was losing both of them again and Peter as well. He considered the small group his family and wagered that where Matt went, Lindsey would be sure to follow. They loved each other, Anton just hoped that they’d realize that before they killed each other.
~~~***~~~
From outside the small house a pair of binoculars with night vision scanned the perimeter. The soldier smiled, he wouldn’t be left to blame and the only man who could implicate him directly was only seconds away.
Two MP’s paced back and forth and scanned the area. Stopping briefly over the spot where the soldier lay hidden in the small copse of trees.
He breathed a sigh of relief as they moved off. He continued his surveillance and settled in for a long night.
~~~***~~~
Peter fidgeted in the seat, the private Air Force jet was well appointed and luxurious yet still he hated the wait. Connor was only moments away and it was too long, far too long. He closed his eyes and rested back against the headrest taking deep breaths to steady the pounding of his heart.
He dreamed of blood.
~~~****~~~
“Connor.” Matt scrunched by the side of the bed and shook the hunched shoulder.
“Mpf.”
“Connor we have a situation wake up.” Matt shook more forcefully and was not prepared for the backhanded swing that toppled him to the floor and bloodied his lips. Doyle crouched on the bed a feral snarl on is face as he tried to orient himself to the room.
“Matt?” he found the crumpled figure on the floor and wince. “Shit, sorry.”
“You hit like a soldier.” Matt groused as he scrambled to the side of the bed.
“What?”
“Sniper in the bushes, recon picked him up an hour or so ago, he’s on the move and it looks like he has a target.”
“Me.” Connor hit the floor and kept to the shadows as he pulled a robe about his frame and slipped on his sneakers.
“So it would appear.”
“We got a bead on whose side he’s on?”
“Captain Stanislav.”
“Carroll’s assistant, makes sense with Carroll well connected and Elsinger out of the way he’ll be worried about being made the scapegoat.”
Matt nodded. “So it seems, we’ve got two teams flanking him to sweep the area. In the meantime I think you should come downstairs.”
“Sure.” Connor got as far as the door when he looked back on the bed and saw a furry head poking up above the sheets. “And that would be?”
“Surely Professor Doyle you’ve seen a teddy bear before.”
“Yes, what I want to know Matthew is what it’s doing in my bed?”
“Hey he was lonely.”
“The Bear was lonely?” Connor frowned as he followed Matt downstairs.
“No the professor was lonely.” Matt headed into the kitchen and poured a coffee, daring the other man to speak.
“Where’s Anton?”
“Down in the complex with Elsinger.”
“So he’s safe.”
“Yep.”
Connor heard the report of gunfire a split second before it hit the kitchen window and in a diving tackle brought Matt down onto the floor covering his face with his chest and arms. Two more shots were fired in rapid succession and Connor scrambled to the fuse box, pulling the main switch and plunged the house and surrounds into darkness. Breathing harshly Connor dropped to the ground his back to the wall as he peered into the gloom.
“You okay?” His voice was a hushed whisper.
“Yeah, but the sonofabitch won’t be when I’m finished with him.” Matt scrambled to his feet.
“Matt, angry is not good, angry makes mistakes. Cold is a much more effective weapon.” Connor counseled as he listened to the faint sounds outside, rapid gunfire and shouts coming closer to the house. “Point of entry Matt, back door, least guarded. Got a gun?”
“Yeah sure I always carry one.”
“You should.” Connor was up in a low crouch keeping sight of the shapes that moved outside the windows. His body ached as he panted, the pain lancing through his knew brought him out in a cold sweat and the drugs that were meant to give him rest made his reaction time sluggish. He heard the back door give seconds before he could dive for cover and was met with a bright torch and a blow that felled him.
“Praeger!” Stanislav shouted.
“Fuck.” Matt cursed from the other room. “Yeah?”
“Got your professor here, if you want him back get me a chopper on the pad now!”
“It’ll take time Charlie.”
“Not if you want him to live.”
“Connor?” Matt called as the MP’s swarmed into the house and backed off immediately. Stanislav had Connor on his knees in broken glass with a gun to his temple and his arm around his throat.
“Out cold sir.” One MP answered as he thumbed the RT on his vest and ducked back for cover.
“Shit.” Matt crawled to the hallway again and peered around. Even in the dim light Connor looked deathly pale and blood pooled under his glass-gouged knees and down into his pajamas from a head wound.
~~~***~~~
Peter dozed fitfully on the plane and awoke with a start as the young Captain touched him lightly on the arm. Despite the length of time since he was actually in the forces he still managed to arm lock the younger man and brought him to his knees before he was fully conscious of his actions.
“Don’t they teach you kids anything anymore?” Peter groused as he let the young man up.
“I was never in the Marines sir.”
“Even diplomatic corps needs to be trained, what did you want?”
“We’re coming in to land sir, Colonel Williams sends his regards and wanted me to brief you on the situation.”
“Situation?” Peter’s eyes became arctic cold as he looked at the hapless Captain.
“Professor Doyle has been taken hostage in the house sir, they are negotiating for his release.”
“Has he been injured?”
“They’re not sure sir.”
“Where’s Praeger?”
“He’s at the house sir, waiting for you to arrive.”
“Who’s in the house?”
“Jus the professor and Captain Stanislav.”
“Stanislav? Charlie Stanislav?”
“Yes sir, you know him?”
“Not sure, used to have a Charlie Stanislav in my squad, can you get an uplink from here?”
“Yes sir.” The young officer opened the laptop and began to log into the mainframe.
“Sorry about the wrist.” Peter smiled. “What’s your name?”
“Jenkins sir, Mark Jenkins.” The young man smiled as Peter hovered over the back of his chair.
“Can you bring up Charlie’s file?”
“Sure.” Within seconds the information was displayed on the screen.
“Bingo, same man. Okay, so get George on the cell for me Captain.”
“Sir, yes sir.” Jenkins threw off a crisp salute and strapped himself into the lounge as he patched threw a call.
“Been a long time Axon.” The Colonel’s gruff voice hid his delight at hearing Peter’s voice.
“Yes sir it has. We’ve lucked out George.”
“Indeed?”
“Stanislav was in my squad.”
“We need the break, what’s your ETA?”
“Twenty minutes to the house. Is Praeger there?”
“Yeah he’s keeping Stanislav busy. Doyle is conscious and has responded but we’ve cleared the area and secured the perimeter. Gotta tell you Axon, this boy will be dealt with with extreme prejudice.”
“Understood sir.”
~~~***~~~
The thin pale lines of dawn speared the house as Connor moved experimentally, the pain lanced through his knees and he reached up to finger the lump on his head.
“Move again and you’ll eat a bullet.” Stanislav’s broad Chicago accent made Connor wince as he dropped his hands back into his lap and peered around. He heard Matt’s voice in the background, distorted by RT crackle and winced again, the room tilted dangerously and Connor fought back the wave of fear that clawed at his belly.
Experience told him that he was succumbing to the first tendrils of shock and he shivered involuntarily.
“So close.” he thought, “so close babe, I’m sorry.” Connor passed out.
~~~***~~~
The sight that greeted Axon was not one to readily inspire confidence. The small well-maintained house was surrounded by heavily armed troops and in the midst of them Peter could see Matt and Anton talking to a distinguished man in full dress uniform.
“George.” Peter smiled as the Colonel returned the handshake then clasped a warm hand on his shoulder.
“Seems your friend has passed out and Charlie is getting very annoyed, wants to talk to someone he can trust.” The Colonel spoke as he steered Axon through the crowd.
“You want Stanislav alive?” Peter asked as he shucked his coat and tie, Matt was stunned by the sudden cold in his friend’s voice.
“Not particularly.” George conceded.
“Hey Matt.” Peter smiled as he handed the discarded clothing over and took off his shirt, skinning down to a white Tee that hugged every defined muscle on the physicist’s body.
“Peter.”
“If I forget, thank you.” Peter smiled again. “Is he hurt?”
“Took a blow to the back of the head.” Anton answered as he joined the group, “other than that we know of possible glass in his knees.”
“He looked thin and pale, general physical condition?” Peter was impassive as he followed through and took in the information, his mind and body already singing with adrenaline.
“Connor will be fine; he’s sustained prolonged trauma and is recovering. Psychologically he appears to have no outward signs of distress, however he is adept at hiding things, as we know. Shock will be a mitigating factor and probably concussion.”
“So get him safe and get him warm?” Peter looked up.
George reappeared with a gun and handed it across to Peter. “I’m assuming you know what this is?”
“Oh sure, M11, 9mm semiautomatic, double-action pistol holding a minimum of eight rounds. The pistol features an ambidextrous magazine catch and has a reliability rate of 17 allowable stoppages out of 15,000 test rounds of M882 9mm ball ammo fired.”
“You always were a quick study, you kept up on the range?”
“OSIR protocol insists we maintain our proficiency rating at a minimum of ninety six per cent.”
“Range is different to a man.” Anton intoned gravely.
“No actually not different at all. You forget Anton once a marine, always a marine.”
“Semper Fi.” The Colonel smiled. “Alright lad in you go.”
Anton shook his head as he watched Peter tuck the gun into the back of his jeans and hold his hands wide as he approached the house, his voice carried softly on the breeze as he talked into the comlink and stopped by the front door.
“What?” Matt asked as he watched intently.
“Peter is exhibiting a side of him that I never realized existed.”
“I’ve seen it before, so have you we just didn’t know how far down it went. Besides the sonofabitch has Connor and given the last two years, I think Peter would shoot God himself if he stood in the way.”
~~~***~~~
Peter kicked the front door open and moved into the small hallway, movement on his left brought him into the kitchen where Connor sat slumped on the floor, dark stains of dried blood underneath his legs and down into the collar of his pajamas.
“Hey Charlie.” Axon spoke softly, his manner and tone non-threatening.
“Thought you left the forces sir.” Charlie hovered into view, he looked tired and drawn his face pale and contorted with fear.
“Reassigned to the OSIR, you wanna tell me what’s going on here Charlie?”
“Got into trouble sir, big trouble.” Charlie frowned as he ran a hand across his forehead and Connor stirred.
“Mind if I sit down?” Peter lowered his arms and pointed to a kitchen chair.
“No, I need help sir.”
“I see that, but taking hostages Charlie? That’s a no win situation.”
“Know that sir, and I expect them to take me out, but I gotta kill him.” He nodded towards Connor and Peter’s heart thudded.
“Why?”
“Got family sir, if he tells them what he knows, they won’t get my pension, and I’ve got four kids.”
“They won’t get the pension anyway under the circumstances Charlie you know the drill. Give him up and face the court martial only chance you’ve got, your family will still draw on your salary.”
“Can’t do time sir, not after the Middle East.”
“So how’d this happen, Charlie?”
“MackInroth, and a man called Elsinger set this one up.” He nodded towards Connor who sat still on the cold floor rocking gently, he seemed unaware of his surroundings and Peter felt the tension coil in his gut.
“And they’ve booked leaving you the goat?” Peter theorized.
“Something like that.” Charlie looked down the muzzle of his gun drifting away from Connor to the floor as Peter looked out the small window at the armed response unit. Stanislav followed his gaze and within a heartbeat Peter pulled the gun from his waist and fired one shot. Charles Stanislav fell soundlessly to the floor, a look of complete disbelief on his face. Fresh hot blood sprayed Connor who began to keen softly at the smell of cordite and death.
Peter kicked the gun from the lifeless form and spoke into the comlink, “Man down, we need a stretcher team and a medic, the situation is secure.” He fumbled for the small earpiece and ripped it off in his frustration as he crouched down in front of Connor.
Peter reached a hand forward cupping Connor’s cheek in his palm. The skin was clammy and cold to the touch and Connor winced trying to pull back.
“Connor?” Peter spoke softly as MP’s removed the body of the dead officer and secured the house. Anton pushed in and meet Peter’s concerned gaze.
Connor rocked and wouldn’t look up. “Love please look at me.” Still the prone man hugged himself tighter and kept his eyes riveted on the floor. “Connor, breathe, come on love, see me.”
There was a small shudder and a choked gasp as Peter tilted the much-loved face up to his. Doyle blinked slowly, coming back by degrees. He wound his arms tighter about his body as the shivering increased and Matt wrapped a soft warm blanket around Connor’s shoulders and handed the ends to Peter who drew him forward into a gentle embrace.
“Peter?” The voice that issued somewhere from Axon’s chest was small and confused.
“Hey.” Peter closed his eyes and let his body warm that of his love, his fingers gently petting the dark hair as he held him closer. “Welcome back.”
Connor pushed away as his face contorted from the pain in his legs and reached forward with a trembling hand to touch Peter’s face.
“Thought you’d wigged out on me there.” Peter guided the smaller man to his feet and feeling him sway, swung him up into his arms and moved into the lounge, propping Conner on the soft cushions as Anton followed doggedly to examine his charge.
“Hurts.” Connor said softly as he gripped Peter more forcefully.
“I know.” Peter soothed gently as Anton inspected the wound on Connor’s skull.
“Superficial cut, the bleeding has stopped, but that’s one hell of a bump.” Anton smiled and Connor burrowed further into Peter’s solid chest away from the questing hands.
“Well done.” Colonel Williams smiled broadly from the doorway as he cleared his men from the house. “You ever want to come back Axon?”
“Don’t think so sir, the don’t ask don’t tell policy leaves me cold and I’ve hidden this long enough.” Peter kissed the top of the bowed head as his hands skinned the soiled shirt from Connor.
“Think you have too, son.” George responded and motioned to Matt to join him outside.
“Anton?” Peter asked as he felt Connor shiver again and laid him back against the soft cushions as Anton attached a blood pressure cuff and took a reading.
“BP is fine,” he moved the pen light over Connors eyes, “pupils are responsive. Connor?”
“Yes.” Connor’s voice was slightly slurred.
“Do you know where you are?” Anton asked.
Connor smiled and looked at Peter for the first time. “With my Peter.”
“And where is that?” Anton smiled.
“Area 51.”
“Today’s date is?”
“October the ninth.”
“Good. Do you feel nauseous?”
“No. Just a headache.”
“Blurred vision?”
“No.”
Anton moved down towards the blood soaked knees and pulled out a pair of scissors to cut away the cloth. Connor’s eyes never left Peter’s.
“You’ll need sutures at the least, some of these lacerations are deep, maybe a couple of stitches, but we need to get you cleaned up first.” The last was directed to Peter.
“Shower?” Peter pulled Connor to his feet supporting his weight against his side.
“Upstairs.” Matt answered. “You need a hand?”
Peter nodded, as Matt looped a long arm around Connor’s waist and Peter mirrored the action as they began the slow ascent upstairs.
“I seem to remember.” Peter teased gently when Connor got halfway up the stairs and sagged, “that the first time we had a shower together I had to watch the bruises then too.”
“D?j? vu.” Connor smiled.
“God I hope not, I don’t think my heart can take this again love.” Peter kissed him softly and urged him forward to the bathroom.
Storm dark eyes assessed the level of damage on the trim form, dark bruises fading to yellow and purple festooned the olive skin, ribs could be seen through the translucent skin, giving him a pallid air. Peter stripped the remainder of the soiled clothes from the abused flesh as Connor gripped the blanket around him and settled on the toilet and watched Peter adjust the spray of warm water in the shower.
“You’ll have to go in with him Peter, I don’t think he could stand on his own.” Matt smiled as he patted his shoulder. “I’ll get you some towels and the MP’s have brought your luggage into Connor’s room. It’s across the hall. Holler if you need help.” The door closed softly as Peter stripped and turned to see the dark eyes devouring him as he moved closer.
“Didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” Connor closed his eyes as warm hands slid the blanket off his body. “Elsinger told me I’d let you down and that because of me you and Cooper died.” Tears streaked the tired features and Peter leaned in to kiss them away.
“No matter what you do, what you say or where you are, you could never, would never let me down love.”
“They didn’t leave a whole lot for you babe.”
“More than I need.”
“No.” Connor shook his head. “They hurt me, I can’t even make love to you.” The normally calm voice cracked.
“Permanently?” Peter sat back and wiped the tears from his face.
“No, but it could take weeks and now this.” Doyle looked down at the blood on his legs and was aware of a fiery pain that strobbed through him.
“Connor, I have you back, nothing compares to that. All other hurts fade and so will these. In the next day or so we’ll go home and I intend to hold you against me until it stops hurting and then I’ll hold you some more.” Peter smiled and guided Connor under the warm water that surged over his body, removing the evidence of pain and despair as Connor traced his hands across the well defined pecs and smiled languidly.
“I love you.” Connor answered simply and listened to the steady heartbeat against his ear. Peter’s strong hands held him close, cherishing him and loving him to his very soul.
“Oh love.” Peter’s arms tightened as he began to card his hand through the short dark hair and rinse the blood away. “I have missed you.”
“You feel wonderful.” Connor murmured as his hands fondled the muscular frame pushed against his body.
“So do you.” Peter pulled the chin up and kissed the sensual mouth, his tongue seeking the arrogant entrance of a known lover and access was granted willingly as a low moan emanated from his throat. “I gotta stop love, while I can, I want you so much it hurts. Anton’s waiting and if I want to share a bed with you I’m going to have to let him patch you up.”
“Stay?”
“With you? Always.” Peter shut off the water and snagged a towel from the railing, quickly wrapping Connor securely in one and using another to dry him off. The head wound hadn’t started bleeding again and the lacerations on his knees looked clean.
“Beautiful.” Connor admired as he watched Peter dry him. “You are so beautiful.”
“Delirious, you are so delirious.” Peter teased.
~~~~****~~~~
Anton frowned as he inspected Connor’s knees; with steady hands he removed several shards of deeply imbedded glass and irrigated the wounds before applying antiseptic and suturing them closed. He wrapped a clean gauze bandage around the abused limbs conscious of Peter’s presence at his shoulder. Connor’s eyes never wavered he simply stared at the point over Anton’s right shoulder where Peter smiled, his arms crossed across his broad chest, still naked from the waist up.
“Good news.” Matt came into the bedroom with a couple of mugs of hot tea.
“And that would be?” Connor took one gratefully and sipped.
“Bob has organized transport for you guys tomorrow morning. Connor, there will be legal papers to sign.”
“What kind of legal papers?” Peter shot Connor a warning glance.
“Legal waiver.”
“Recants the opportunity of suing the government for what they did?” Peter stilled in the room.
“Yes, only way I could spring Connor, besides the Government is prepared to make reparations which will be settled within thirty days. The terms of the agreement are binding.”
“You’ve read it?” Connor asked.
“I wrote it.” Matt smiled back.
“Great it could contain anything.” Peter rolled his eyes and Connor laughed. “You think that’s funny? Man I’ve had to work with that for two years.” Peter hitched his thumb in Matt’s direction.
“And I have to boot print on my arse to prove it.” Matt rubbed his butt theatrically and even Anton smiled.
“Connor, you need to get some rest, I’m reluctant to prescribe anything stronger than aspirin for the headache. However, you must tell me immediately if it worsens.”
“Anton, calm down, I know the drill.” Connor smiled tiredly.
“It’s good to have you back.” Anton patted the leg before him and drew the covers over Connor as he stood up.
“You want to take care of the legals babe?” Connor asked around a cavernous yawn.
“Sure. In the meantime, get some sleep I’ll be downstairs.” Peter leaned over the bed and kissed the sweet lips gently before brushing the dark hair back from the high forehead.
“Don’t take too long.” Connor smiled as he drifted into sleep.
“Promise”
~~~****~~~
Connor pulled himself up from sleep, a heavy lull that he was loath to lose, his headache was teasing him on the edge of consciousness and his knees throbbed, but there was more. Something that overcame the discomfiture of the moment, something that tickled him alert as he wriggled experimentally. Without turning he felt the warm weight that curled naked against his back, the long leg neatly tucked between his and resting against his balls. A large hand was settled on his hip and stroked gently bringing him awake with a smile. He sniffed and the scent of the man behind him filled his lungs and his heart, soft breath teased at the back of his neck and a strong arm wrapped underneath his head, giving the hand free range across his chest.
“Peter.” The sigh was a benediction to some higher force that Connor only now believed existed as he turned slightly, entwining the work roughened hands with his own.
Axon smiled against his back and licked his way along the shoulder, mindful of the wounds, his thick shaft rubbed slowly across Connor’s velvet buttocks already weeping with desire.
“Beautiful.” Peter murmured in the turned ear as he traced the side of Connor’s face with his lips, nuzzling across from the ear to cheek and down to the sweet lips that parted and smiled.
“Babe, I can’t.” Connor stammered slightly, hurt and disappointment in his voice.
“Yes you can.” Peter coaxed gently. “I talked to Anton, you’re clean love, no more bugs, no strange diseases. And I know how they hurt you.”
“I can’t let you take me, they tore me up inside.” Connor shied away from the steady gaze.
“And you can’t take me because of your knees, so? Ever heard of frottage Professor?”
Connor nodded slowly. “Means to rub.”
“And I can think,” Peter punctuated his words with kisses as he turned Connor onto his back and ran his fingers lightly down the furred chest, stopping at regular intervals to seek out tender spots as he pinched the dark brown nipples. Connor gasped as the hardened nubs were pulled gently between Peter’s lips and he felt a throb of another kind thrill him like sweet wine, “of nothing better I’d like to rub right now.” Peter’s hand dipped low across his abdomen and carded through the dark thatch of hair and down to the heavy cock.
Connor rolled his head back against the cushions as he parted his legs and let the gentle hand that knew him so well roll the heavy balls in their sac. Peter held his weight up on his arms, his biceps bulging with the effort as Connor traced the contours of the man above him, moving to dance in a rhythm as old as time.
Beyond speech Connor adjusted his position till their cocks slid against each other, the heat and touch of the other healing the open wounds of their souls as Peter began to rock slowly, his lips constantly moving against the smaller form. Finding every hurt, every ache and bringing joy with the completion of souls that were truly lost alone.
Tears streaked their faces and yet still the dance continued, moving in a luxurious tempo that had their eyes locked with love and desire. All the answers to the unknown and unasked questions were answered in the heartbeat and for a moment Connor saw the despair, the heartache and was humbled by the degree of love this mercurial man held for him. Proud to know that the heart in his hands beat solely for him and in that moment aware, not for the first time of the awesome burden that came with being so well loved. Wanted, he felt wanted and needed and whole as he screamed his climax into Peter’s shoulder, long fingers digging into heavy flesh as he arched high from the bed and his chest collided with his lover’s.
The contact sent Peter over the edge, spilling his seed to mingle with Connor’s gluing them together and holding them fast. Peter smiled as he moved to one side, his fingertips trailing over the sated and dreamy face of his partner.
“Missed you.” Peter whispered as he kissed the perfect pout and brushed away the last of the tears.
“I didn’t think you’d wait.” Connor admitted as he kissed Peter’s palm.
“I’m hurt.” Peter smiled. “I’d go to hell for you love, you should know that by now.”
“By the looks of it that’s exactly where you’ve been.” Connor snuggled down into the thick arms.
“Jeez, make up your mind. You told me I looked good, now your saying I look like hell.” Peter chuckled.
“Water to a thirsty man Peter always looks good.”
“Is that what you were? Thirsty love?” Peter’s lips caught the dark hair and kissed gently.
“For you, always babe.”
“So.” Peter leaned up on his elbow and propped his head in his hand. “What do we do now?”
“Go home?” Connor asked a little too hopefully.
“Yes. Go home and then what? They’ve made a settlement offer in the millions Connor, even when I turn your estate back over to you, neither of us will have to work again.”
“I was thinking that we should run joint accounts from now on.”
“Joint accounts? You want everyone to know whom I’m sleeping with?” Peter smirked.
“I don’t care who knows anymore. I never meant for you to be hurt by keeping silent about our relationship babe. I only wanted to protect you.”
“Hey I know. Connor I want my life back with you. I couldn’t stand it some nights you know. I’d even wear your socks into work if I had a meeting with Elsinger, just to give me strength. Other times, I’d hug your sweaters or shirts in bed with me, believing that I could still smell you on them. I was a mess, but I survived love. It’s nothing compared to what you went through.”
“What I went through? I don’t remember most of, I woke up several months ago to be told I was lucky to be alive and that I was safe, but to the world I was dead. I’d lost everything, and then Elsinger delivered the coup de grace personally.”
“He told you I was dead and so was Cooper.” Peter continued his gentle stroking.
“Yes, I don’t remember much after that, I wanted to kill him so they sedated me, I could barely walk babe and I felt so empty, if I’d have known that he lied I’d have moved heaven and earth to get to you.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Peter whispered urgently. “Connor I know you have difficulty believing you’re worth loving, but I do with every part of me.”
“I trusted Anton to look after you babe, where was he?”
“I wasn’t in the mood to be looked after Connor, besides by the time he was over being angry with me I’d more or less decided that I wasn’t interested in a friendship with any of them. If they couldn’t see I was hurting too, then what kind of friends were they?”
“That’s not the point. I can see the ache Peter, and I’m not totally myself at the moment. What would have been his first clue? When you forgot to fight them back? When you let them walk on you? When they found you with my gun in your mouth?” Connor spoke softly but the anger in his voice was real and each word found the mark, scorching close to the truth. “You considered it didn’t you?” Connor asked gently as the arms closed around him again.
“Almost constantly, when you first left Mrs. Mac tried to get me to be reasonable, she changed the sheets on the bed and we had a terrible row.”
“Because you needed to smell me? To imagine that I was still real?”
“I lost it in the first few weeks love, I’d barely hold it together at work and then Lindsey would snipe at me, or there’d be whispers in the corridors and people would walk away from me as they glared and the strange part was most of them never even knew you. Then I’d come home and Mrs. Mac would have moved things around, a cup or a glass you’d used the morning we left, a piece of paper in the den and I’d get so far beyond reasonable I’d bolt from the house and go for a run, I couldn’t be there and couldn’t be anywhere else.”
“What kept you going?”
“I don’t know, I was tired Connor, I just wanted the hurt to stop, didn’t want to be around people who knew you, didn’t have the energy to fight them anymore.” Peter shrugged.
“And then one day you didn’t have to be.” Connor moved into the embrace conveying his love with body and hands as he listened to the quiet pain in Peter’s voice.
“I got an offer from Harvard.”
“Again.” Connor smiled.
“I think it was annual, only this time I meant to take it.”
“I think you should.”
“Really?”
“Yes of course, they have been begging for years now, besides, we’ll have normal hours, have a normal life, short of an explosion in the lab, out of danger. I want that babe, I want to come home to you at night and if you’re not there, know that you’re safe and for you to have the same security.”
“You don’t want to go back and help Anton out then?”
“At this point in time Anton is lucky I don’t tear him a new one. The only loyalty is to you, to us. The OSIR manipulated us and while the work was fun when we started it’s become a dangerous game and I resent games. I don’t trust any of them anymore.”
“Except Matt.” Peter tugged on Connor’s ear with his teeth.
“Yes, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that.”
“’Bout what?”
“Matt Praeger.”
“What about him?”
“You’re close.”
“Close to killing him on several occasions.” Peter laughed.
“But he cares about you.”
“Yeah I guess he does. I owe him for bringing you home.”
“He loves you babe.”
Peter’s laugh was rich and full as he rolled onto his back. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Am I?”
“Heterosexual Matthew Praeger who’d die if a man so much as looked at his cock let alone touch it? Same Matt Praeger I’ve had to put up with for months that has three ex-wives a string of girlfriends including Lindsey and a daughter who’s got a crush on me the size of Mount Rushmore? We are talking about the same man?”
“The one and only.” Connor smiled.
“Love if you want to be jealous over anyone be jealous over Lindsey after all we slept together.”
“You what?” Connors voice was calm.
“Slept as in her on one side me on the other, no sex, no thanks, but she stayed with me to put Rollins off the scent.”
“Oh. But Matt slept with you too.”
“I see you two have been busy talking, yes Matt came into our room and calmed me down, while I sobbed myself to sleep again because I was missing you.”
“Peter.” Connors voice was laced with anguish as he looked up into open face and storm gray eyes.
“Don’t.” Peter closed his lips over his lover. “It’s alright, we’ll be fine. Don’t be too hard on Anton or Lindsey, they both love you and their grief was not disloyalty to me, they were blinded and couldn’t see mine was because I chose for them not too. I left them love, they didn’t leave me. They didn’t have a chance and I never gave them one, so let them be. Please.”
“For you only but it still annoys me that those I trusted to look after you didn’t even damn try.”
“I think I’d have probably booked from the OSIR earlier if they had love.”
“Maybe, I still don’t have to like it.” Connor reached a hand up to the stubbled jaw.
“Protecting me again?” Peter smiled.
“It’s my job.” Conner pulled Peter down to him, parting his lips with his tongue and suckling on the bottom lip eliciting a moan from the men. “What time is it?” Connor stroked the strong jaw, as he lay back, comfortable for the first time in years.
“Nearly three, you were out for over seven hours.”
“And you were here for how long?” Connor smiled.
“Ah bout six and a half.”
“No wonder I slept so well.”
Peter stomach growled and he smiled sheepishly.
“I take it that means you’re hungry?”
“Yeah, guess I am.”
“And that would be a first in the last few months as well wouldn’t it?” Dark eyes watched him closely and Peter turned away.
“I eat.”
“Clif bars and protein shakes are not food groups Peter.”
“This from a man who thinks cheese and peanut butter crackers are an ideal meal replacement. Besides it didn’t do me any harm.”
“Didn’t do you any good either, the fact that you look hotter than hell means nothing.”
“And if I was fat and pudgy and lily white would you still love me?” Peter swung his legs out of the bed and wrapped a towel around his waist as he padded softly to the bathroom door.
“Always babe, no matter what.” Connor answered and pushed the sheet down as he arched his body off the bed and stretched.
Peter came back seconds later with a warm cloth and cleaned away the evidence of their lovemaking and dried Connor as he bent down to accept a warm kiss.
“If I take the job at Harvard, I want the board to know that we are in a relationship.”
Connor sighed heavily. “They may rescind the offer.”
“They may take legal action if word gets out and someone tries to blackmail us with it as well. Besides, I can’t hide anymore Connor.” There was despair in the gentle voice and Connor smiled.
“No, we can’t, agreed, if you want I’ll come with you and we’ll let the college know at MIT as well.”
Peter’s features softened and long dimples creased his face. “I don’t suppose you’re up to cooking?”
“Maybe, depends on who for.”
“Me.”
“And you’d want?”
“A Connor flavored chew toy?” Peter licked across his lover’s chest as Connor squirmed under the tender assault.
“Food babe, I am not food.”
“Are to me, and air and water and life itself.”
“Argh.” Connor sat up dislodging the larger man and pushed off the bed slowly. The headache was tolerable and the pain in his knees no worse then the frequent occasions when he’s stacked the Harley. “Omelet?” Connor’s long fingers caressed Peter’s shoulder.
“Oh yeah, man I haven’t had one of those since you left.” Peter smiled. “I got time for a shower?”
“Yes, do I have clothes in that bag?” Connor pointed to the suitcase and Peter hopped off the bed opening it on the floor before them.
“I didn’t know what to pack so I just grabbed a few things, there’s a suit in the wardrobe, and” Peter began rummaging through the suitcase.
“I see you packed all your favorite things.” Connor teased.
“But of course.”
“Hand me some jeans and a shirt babe.”
~~~****~~~
Anton fretted over the medical files in front of him and pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt as though a storm was brewing and he was unable and perhaps unwilling to stop it. Connor had never been a forgiving man when his personal life was in jeopardy and that he had lent fuel to fire in ostracizing Peter made him certain that he had lost favor of the Professor for good.
“Looks compelling.” Connor limped into the kitchen and peered over Anton’s shoulder.
“Actually it’s your case file.”
“Ah don’t tell me Elsinger was stupid enough to keep one on me at the lab?”
“Yes he was, friend of Matt’s liberated it for me. How do you feel?”
“Like I got knocked on the head with a gun and fell on glass.”
“No dizziness, no nausea?” Anton peered intently at the man as he rummaged in the fridge for eggs and cheese.
“Anton, I’m fine. I must congratulate you however.” Connor’s voice was amiable as he turned dark eyes on the other man.
“I’m almost afraid to ask.” Anton smiled weakly.
“I would be if I were you, but then luckily I’m not.”
“Meaning?” Anton leaned back and put his glasses down on the kitchen table.
“At what point would your much vaunted intellect have alerted you to the fact that Peter was suffering?” Connor didn’t still his movements instead; almost placidly he cracked the eggs into a bowl and began whisking adding condiments and herbs as he went.
“I approached him Connor, on several occasions, finally he had some grief counseling with Sonja but you know as well as I do that he had to make that step.”
“Yes, the great step. It’s a fine comparison theory Anton, doesn’t really stack up when you find them in their own blood does it?”
“I assessed Peter and I did not think he was suicidal.” Anton squared his shoulders.
“Yes however you never protected him either. You knew better than anyone left that Elsinger was manipulating him, saw what his friends were doing to him, felt his pain and still the good doctor decided he’s not suicidal so its not my problem. Convenient Anton and bloody pathetic.”
“Connor,” Anton adopted his reasonable tone and huffed slightly. “If I had known that you and Peter had a relationship, that losing you would affect him so deeply I would have moved a lot sooner. I regret that I didn’t, but in that time Elsinger manipulated all of us.”
“Excuses Anton, that’s all it is. It took a stranger to see him dying before his eyes to do something before his friends did.” Connor slammed the bowl down on the table and glared at the older man. His countenance was foreboding and cruel in the afternoon light and Anton shrank from it.
“You’re right.” Anton answered. “We didn’t care, not the way that friends are supposed to. I got lost in an experiment, Connor I was MIA as well for a while and when I got back I had Katherine and was preoccupied with my own life.”
“Nevertheless, you still let Lindsey barrack him, you still allowed people to treat him badly, you knew Curtis’s track record and it didn’t occur to you that he was setting Peter up? I trusted you Anton. You were the only one I trusted to look after him and you let me down.” Connor’s shoulders stayed rigid as he glowered, Anton felt his presence like the storm that it was and nothing he could say or do would redeem him to the man.
“I’m sorry.”
“I bet you are, fortunately Peter forgives you.”
“And what about you?” Anton looked up.
“While rationally I understand your position, I cannot emotionally accept it. Friends are stronger than family, we choose to be with each other and not because of commitment but because we want to. You saw and did nothing and that makes you untrustworthy and culpable in my book.”
“What would you have me do?”
“Do?” Connor swung back to the stove and sprinkled grated cheese over the eggs in the pan and added mushrooms. “Anton, at this point in time I really don’t think there is anything you can do.”
“So I can assume you won’t be coming back to the OSIR?” Anton sagged visibly.
“Oh I’ll come back.” Connor’s voice was deathly quiet. “Long enough to help Peter clean out his office and shove your faces as far into the shit as I can.”
“No.” Peter’s voice came from the doorway.
“No what?” Connor seethed as he was wrapped in a firm embrace. Matt had heard the exchange from the lounge room and decided that despite his regard for Anton personally, this was one fight that was not his. Now he stood at the door and watched silently.
“I never gave them a chance Connor, you knew I wouldn’t and prepared us both for that. Anton did his best and Lindsey and I have made our peace. Leave it love, it’s as much my fault as it was theirs.”
Connor leaned back in the embrace and allowed Peter’s presence to soothe him as he flipped the omelet over and tipped it onto a plate.
“Anyone else want one?” Connor asked and Matt smiled.
“I’ll take one.”
“Anton?” Connor turned to look at the old doctor.
“Please.” Anton answered accepting the peace offering for what it was as he closed the files on the table.
“You made me an offer to come back.” Peter said around a mouthful of egg and cheese.
“You considering it?” Anton was stunned.
“Unfortunately no, but I will concede to offering what I can on a consultation basis, work and schedules permitting.”
“But no field work?”
“Depends on the field work.” Connor answered.
“We could use all three of you back there.” Anton looked around the room.
“Not going to happen.” Matt grinned and sat down. “I’ve got a school load of new recruits to debrief in two weeks.”
“What are you doing with your house?” Peter asked already half way through his huge meal as Connor set the second plate on the table in front of Matt.
“Think I’ll rent it out for the moment and then put it on the market. At least it’s a bill I can tell the ex-wives I’ve still got, might help me minimize the alimony payments.” Matt laughed.
“I don’t think anything will help with that, besides you could always let Dana go to school in Boston.”
“Oh great I’m sure Connor would love a love struck teenager mooning around you all the time, no I’m thinking a convent somewhere, maybe the antipodes.”
Connor laughed. “I don’t know if I can put up with the father how bad can the child be?”
“Willful, headstrong, arrogant, opinionated, egotistical, devoted.” Matt filled him in on the details, “And the she wakes up!”
“Sounds like someone I know.” Connor smiled at Peter as he served Anton’s omelet and set about making one for himself.
“Hey I resemble that remark.” Peter pouted.
“Yes actually you do.” Matt chided in, “No wonder you two get on so well.”
“Peter has always been good with small children and animals, it’s just the rest of us humans he has difficulty with.” Connor added. “Anton, would you insist on holding me to my contract with the OSIR?”
“No.”
“I’d never pass the physical.” He added as he sat down aware of all the eyes on him as he reached over and stroked Peter’s thigh. “However,”
“You’ll come back?” Anton nearly choked on his omelet.
“For the short term and no assignments, strictly nine to five and not for another month.” Connor looked at Peter who smiled broadly.
“Yeah make it six weeks.” Peter winked.
Anton for one of the very few times in his life was speechless.
~~~***~~~
EPILOGUE:
Matt stretched his legs as he strode off the plane at Logan airport. Even the air smelled different, cleaner somehow, redolent of home and spring sunshine. He took in a great lungful, snagged his luggage from the baggage carousel and meandered out onto the streets. Six months had elapsed since he was last home, funny how the gypsy in him felt comfortable with this place being the concept of home. If he belonged anywhere he felt it was here and part of the reason greeted him with a broad smile.
Even from the distance Matt could tell that Connor had come a long way since the early days after Area 51. He and Peter had had problems to overcome, but with quiet conviction and absolute faith in each other’s love they’d managed to weather everything that came their way. He seemed taller, perhaps it was an illusion maybe it was the extra weight he carried and the strength in the broad shoulders, it didn’t seem to matter. Peter and Connor, Mrs. Mac, Anton and Lindsey made this place home and he was glad to be back.
“Long flight?” Connor smiled as he took the heavy luggage and swung it easily into the back of the Explorer. The fine linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up showed that most of the extra weight was muscle.
“Only when you’re six three and the seats are so friggin tiny.”
“You didn’t fly coach did you?” Connor asked with barely suppressed laugh and Matt frowned.
“Yes. I thought Peter was coming to get me.”
“It’s early, I left him asleep. Besides I’ve got some errands to run. You don’t mind do you?”
“No not at all. You’ve traded the ‘vette?”
“As if.” Connor snorted and shifted the car easily into the oncoming stream of traffic. “I think Peter would be bereft if we took his toy off him.”
“Some toy. You look good.”
“Thank you. It’s been a long way back.”
“And the knee?” “Responding well to anti-inflammatories and therapy. No permanent damage.”
“Peter said you’re back at MIT?”
“Wasn’t hard, what was difficult were the terms.”
“Terms?”
“Peter and I made a decision that we wouldn’t hide our relationship anymore. We thought it relevant to let the Board of Trustees know about our personal lives before we accepted tenure.”
“I can see that would have gone down a treat.” Matt laughed.
“Well I must admit to being surprised by Peter. You raised him well.” Connor smiled and checked his rear view mirror.
“Hey that’s what parents are for. You ah, wanna tell me precisely what I did?”
“He walked in, dressed in Armani looking very hot and smiled. Put his contract down on the table and pulled out a pen ready to sign. Then he turned to Mike Chambers and said ‘You may wish to consider the offer before I sign.’ They nearly choked.”
“And?”
“After a lot of questions he simply said you need to know, since I’m not embarrassed by it, nor do I intend to hide the fact that I am in a relationship with the Professor of another College.”
“Mike would have loved that.” Matt laughed.
“Oh he did, he said ‘And who Professor Axon might that be?’ and Peter pointed over his shoulder to me and smiled.”
“Oh God to have been a fly on the wall.” Matt grabbed his ribs as he continued to rock with laughter.
“After a lot of blustering they asked us to wait outside and Peter calmly sat his ground and looked at them all in turn. And said ‘I have no intentions of waiting anywhere, you’ve been making me this offer for the last eight years, now I’m prepared to take it and your taking umbrage at my personal life. Since I’m not litigious and have no need of the money I tell you this simply as a matter of note, the decision is whether you can cope with it’.”
“Well he’s learned patience that’s for sure, and his delivery couldn’t have been better. Since he signed I guess all went well?”
“It did, and made it easier at MIT for me to go back, since the Deans are a small community they knew before I walked in with my offer.”
“You see much of Anton?”
“A little, Peter still consults for him when he’s got time and by default so do I, but I don’t.”
“Really wasn’t his fault Connor.”
“Perhaps, but when I was in Angelesk I told him that he had the harder job of keeping them together after things settled down. He didn’t listen, didn’t hear what I was trying to tell him.” Connor pulled the car to a stop in Charles Street. “You want to wait here?”
“Sure.”
Matt watched him leave, the fine cut of the pants, the expensive shoes and even without the knowledge of wealth Matt found that he admired the elegant and calm way Connor conducted himself. Nothing would make him look anything other than the gentleman he was and Matt smiled, knowing now what it meant to Peter and how he had found himself after so many years with a place and people to call family. Connor ducked into several shops, the most eclectic of his morning errands a trip into a jewelry shop, coming out with a large brown paper bag.
Doyle tossed the bags into the back and the brown bag onto Matt’s lap.
“Oh gee, you shouldn’t have.” Matt leered.
“Don’t get your hopes up, I didn’t.” Connor laughed and headed home towards Scituate.
“So you got Peter a teddy bear,” Matt foraged in the bag and pulled the cheerful dark brown teddy bear out and batted him lightly on the nose.
“It’s mink.” Connor smiled.
“It would be, hey he’s got a little box in his paws.”
“Put him back.”
“What’s in the box?”
“A ring.”
“For Peter?”
“Yes.”
“What type of ring?” Matt asked mischievously.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes it matters. You’re going to ask him aren’t you?”
Connor turned his head away looking at the traffic. “You’re an incurable romantic Praeger.”
“Hey you buy Peter a ring and a mink teddy bear, what’s a guy to think?”
“Well as luck would have it, you’d be right.”
“Hey that’s kewl!” Matt slapped the turned shoulder. “Can you two get married?”
“As far as the law is concerned I don’t know, but we already run joint accounts, have dual property titles and admit to a long term relationship. Besides Peter needs the security that I’m not about to up and run off. We’ll work the details out as we go.”
“So the teddy bear is because?”
Connor shrugged, “I don’t know, I just thought he was rather cute. Don’t spoil the surprise Matthew. Besides he may turn me down.”
“Oh yeah! Like that’s ever going to happen.” Matt grinned again and enjoyed the ride home.
The house was no different to the last time he had seen it, yet everything had changed. Where once it was picture book perfect now it looked comfortable and relaxed.
Mrs. Mac wrapped Matt in a bear hug the minute he got into the kitchen and fussed. Connor unloaded the car and carried the suitcase upstairs, complete with the brown paper bag. Matt smiled and helped himself to the still warm sweet pastries that Connor had picked up on their way home.
~~~~~****~~~~~
Long lean limbs, dusted lighted with an almost golden fur stretched on the bed. The sleigh bed with its heavily carved ends was exquisite and the soft muslin curtains danced in the light breeze. Connor closed the door and crossed to the bed, his eyes falling on the set of framed black and white photos on the wall taken almost six years ago by a gay friend who’d been dabbling in art photography. The main picture was of them entwined in a lover’s kiss; the tattoo on Peter’s hip was obvious as he curled a long leg over his lover’s hip and guided the dark head to his shoulder before taking his lips in his own. Connor remembered the embarrassment he’d felt and how Peter had once again taken him out at the knees when he stripped off and then helped Connor out of his clothes when his own fingers had faltered.
Peter hadn’t changed much. His hair was more salt than pepper, his smile more charming as he aged gracefully. His body was still strong and beautiful and the lines about his eyes faded to those of happiness. Still at times, odd times, the darkness would creep up on him and he’d be left shivering and bereft in its wake. Needing a firm hand, and loving commitment to settle him once again. Fortunately those days had grown less since they left the OSIR. Lindsey had remained on, loyal to Anton and she was a regular visitor, it would be good to reunite her with Matt. Connor smiled again as he approached the bed and took the bear from its wrapping.
He tickled down the long line of back with the mink across to the firm buttocks and bent to kiss his way along the same path.
“Taking advantage of an unconscious man?” Peter groused as he arched back into the touch and turned over, Connor would never tire of looking at his beloved’s naked form. Never tire of seeing the smile on the face or the passion stoked storm grey eyes.
“Oh you know me babe, a covert assault is always more rewarding.” Connor waggled the teddy bear before Peter’s face.
“You bought a bear?” Peter pushed up in the bed. “You were supposed to get Matt and you came home with a mink teddy bear.”
“Matt is downstairs being fussed over by Mrs. Mac. The bear is for you.” Connor crossed his legs on the bed and held onto the furry creature for a moment longer before handing it over. “He comes bearing gifts.”
“Oh now that’s bad.” Peter laughed and took the small box from his paws.
“I’ve wanted to ask you since before they separated us.” Connor said softly and Peter instinctively felt the shift in the emotion, he looked up sharply. “I never wanted us to hide and have always been proud to be with you, in whatever capacity you want. But I have wants too Peter, and I have no intention of ignoring them any longer.”
“I see.” Peter said softly.
“Do you?” Connor looked down. “I’m not much Peter, you can do better but I can’t and so I guess it’s selfish of me but I want to marry you.”
Totally caught off guard Peter didn’t know whether to cry or laugh as he looked on the beautiful features that he knew better than his own. He snapped open the lid of the jeweler’s box and found a pair of exquisite Celtic knot gold rings, one for each of them and looked up.
“Oh God they’re beautiful.” Peter fingered the gold bands again and sat further up in the bed. “You’re beautiful.” He cupped Connor’s face in his warm palm and knelt forward to kiss the sensual lips.
“Can I take that as a yes?” There was trepidation in Connor’s voice as he stroked across the planes of Peter’s chest.
“Yes. I take it you’ve worked out the details?”
Connor blushed. “No actually I haven’t, I don’t even know if we can, but even if the law and the churches say no.”
“We’ll find a way love, thank you.”
“Thank you.” Connor corrected as he heard Matt’s non-too stealthy footsteps and sat back covering Peter with the crisp ivory linen sheet.
“So?” Matt pounded on the door and opened it in the same moment.
“So what?” Peter asked innocently as Matt took in the box still clutched in his hand and the bear on his chest.
“Axon have a heart, what did you say?”
Connor got up and went across the room, pausing in the doorway next to Matt. “Yes.” Connor said gently. “He said yes.”
Finis.