A Quiet Presence. Part I

Автор:  Ravenschild

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“My affairs.”

“Your affairs? Even for you Frank that’s a little parochial.”

“Perhaps, but I know you’re watching me. I just haven’t decided why.”

“You’re a fascinating study Frank, what more can I say.”

“How about yes? I’ve made this offer before Mike, we’d work better together than apart.”

“Yes so you say, but,” Kelly drained his glass, “I doubt I would pass the OSIR physical. Drunks are usually disqualified as undesirable.”

“Not in research.”

Kelly shuddered theatrically, “Me in an office? I doubt it, but thank you.”

“So you are watching me.”

“When I have the time, as I said you’re a fascinating study. But even old drunks need a hobby.”

“What precisely have you told Praeger?”

“Thanks to you Matthew and I are no longer on speaking terms. Nor is Lindsey. Despite what you consider to be my unlimited resources you are sadly mistaken. Now either buy me a beer or take your friends home.”

“As you like.” The voice was dropped into a sibilant hiss as Elsinger stepped back. “Old drunks have accidents too.”

“Are you threatening me?” Kelly squared his shoulders and stared the other man down a feral cunning in the soft eyes.

“No, just a friend telling you to be careful. Good night Mike.”

~~~****~~~

He was tired, more tired than he ever remembered being, and all night long Lindsey had asked questions, doing her job; only now he was on the receiving end. He had considered innumerable times bringing her back to the house, showing her Conner’s clothes and books, things that she would remember. Things that she would know and then maybe she’d believe him. Lindsey didn’t say he was lying but he’d seen her work too many times not to notice how skeptical she was about their relationship. In the end he smiled, paid the bill and drove her home.

Now alone in the car he considered things he thought had long gone. He remembered this spot, Connor would take the Harley out and come here when he needed to think or wanted some quiet solitude. Peter knew Connor better than any living soul and yet still he had questions, the answers of which would no longer be forthcoming. No longer the lifetime to count as his own, the simple joy of having tomorrows that seemed endless. For him life was cold and dark. He was a sexual creature, with a healthy appetite and natural gentle charm that allowed him to seek his conquests and take them to his heart. In all of his life he had only ever had a handful of one-night stands and they all left him wanting.

Sex was a beautiful thing consumed like a fine wine between two people who loved each other. There was no place for ill will, only love and honour and passion. Fear should never enter into it and he knew Connor had known that fear, had felt that pain close to his heart despite his reluctance to discuss his past. There was darkness there, a despair that would vanish in a heartbeat from behind the storm dark eyes and when he’d smile Peter knew he had all that his heart could want, and all that his soul craved.

The tears would not come tonight. He had grieved longer than he cared to remember, for himself, for his stupidity, for losing Connor, for having to keep secret the one thing he should have been proud of had, and now he had nothing. His friends watched him with a fatal stare and now begged him to believe that they truly cared about him. He would not assuage their guilt, be for them what they wanted to own, he was his own man and Peter laughed. The sound was hollow and brittle in the thin night air as he perched on the bonnet of the Corvette and looked out at the ocean before him. He breathed deeply the salt air and smiled. Conner had loved the ocean, and he was drawn to it now wanting to feel the arms of his lover’s lover.

It was not that people were not interested in him; he simply chose not to see them. And what of Matt? What was he trying to do or be? It bothered him and he shook the disquiet from his shoulder like a man shaking off the rain, except that some of it stayed to soak through and chill the skin beneath. Peter felt as though he was haunted. The presence felt quiet and calm and he believed Conner watched him and kept him safe, knowing that he couldn’t allow himself to go to another, he wouldn’t dishonour the truth that had been his life. And still no tears fell; instead a soul cried out in mortal agony as he bowed his ashen face and trembled.

~~~****~~~

“Damn!” Praeger kicked the lamppost and shuddered at the implications. “Sonofabitch Elsinger!” He raised his fist to the air. “You knew Doyle would disobey you, you fucking bastard you set him up and I’ve got you!” A dark mood settled around Praeger as he turned on his heel and headed home. He stopped in mid huff and dialed Peter’s cell phone.

“Axon.”

“Hey Peter it’s me, where are you?”

“I’m at the old light house in Scituate, why?”

“What are you doing up there?”

“Thinking.”

“I’m going out of town for a couple of days, I’ll be on cell, just do me a favour.”

“Sure.” The voice was tired and distant.

“Stay safe. Peter I mean it, watch your back.”

“I told Frank I’d consider the offer he was making me,” Peter’s voice was a distracted monotone.

“Good, and?”

“Said he was pleased and that we’d go over the details when I get back from Ontario. What’s going on?”

“I’m not sure yet, but hell you know me, paranoid to the end, probably border line psychotic but nevertheless, remember what I told you on our first assignment?”

“About seriously under whelmed?”

“No cretin, about working on a construction site.”

“Yeah, keep your hard hat on, your tool belt slung low and never take a step backwards.”

“Seriously impressed Peter you listened, it applies to life as well. Keep your mind sharp, keep your balance and don’t let the bastards back you into a corner. Remember that.” He closed the connection not waiting for an answer and headed home.